love – Living off Leesh

Ways to my heart

Published on February 14, 2017May 27, 2018 by Alicia10 Comments

Despite today being my least favorite holiday on the planet, Jenny over at sitbackandjustlive made a post about some ways to her heart, and because I definitely related to a few of them, I thought I would make one too, cough cough at all of you potential boyfriends out there, read on.

You love my dog/my dog loves you: While I don’t have a dog right now, I will at some point and I heard once that dogs are the best judge of character. Basically, if my dog doesn’t love you, you have to go. And if you don’t like my dog, just move along.
We have the same/similar Political Views: Basically, if you voted for Trump or accept him as a president, I can’t date you.
Food:This is pretty self-explanatory. Food makes everyone happy
Take candid or not so candid photos of me: I need a boyfriend who does this, hell I need friends that do this because my Instagram feed does not have nearly enough pictures of me being uncandidly candid on it.
You know my Starbucks Order: I have 4 Starbucks orders, which can be difficult, but they switch from the seasons, so as long as I get something close, I’ll love you forever.

Well, these are the ways to my heart, what are the ways to yours?

Alicia

An oldie but a goodie: Homemade Valentines

Published on February 12, 2017May 27, 2018 by Alicia3 Comments

Hi everyone, with Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, my least favorite holiday, I have decided that I would make some fun homemade Valentines for some super cool people; dogs, my sister, some friends, etc. Before I start this post, I figured I would give you all a little college update: Literally right after I posted my college update post I got an email saying I was accepted into DePaul University and then the next night I checked my Ohio University application and saw that I was also accepted. I AM OFFICIALLY GOING TO COLLEGE. I still have to visit Ohio (tomorrow) and compare financial options but at least I have options.

I mentioned that I missed making homemade Valentines with glitter and doilies and glue and messes and my sister and mom agreed. So, my mom and I raided the $1 section of Target, or as we like to call it the “don’t need anything but want everything” section and got some doilies, glitter, stickers, and some other cheap Valentine making pieces and got to work.

I honestly forgot how fun it was to make Valentines and how much it makes people smile receiving them. It’s one thing to send someone a text saying Happy Valentine’s Day, or to buy those pre-made Spongebob Valentines to bring to school, but sitting down and placing stickers delicately on a doily and then writing ever so neatly a few sweet words and topping it off with glitter is: A. So much more sentimental and B. So much more fun.

Now, while I attempt to get as much of the glitter remnants out of my tablecloth and clothes before I give up and just throw them in the washer, enjoy some photos of the Valentine’s my sister and I made this year for our family and friends.

All of the glitter that didn’t make it onto the Valentines

The Top 100 Inspirational Weight Loss Bloggers

Published on May 17, 2016June 25, 2016 by AliciaLeave a comment

Hi, everyone. Look at me double posting. My life update post will be up in the next few days, however, I was checking my stats page this morning and saw that I had a lot of viewers that were referred to my blog by DietToGo.

Curious as to how that was, I clicked the link in my stats and was brought here

I immediately noticed that the post was entitled “The Top 100 Inspirational Weight Loss Bloggers You’ve Probably Never Heard Of (Until Now)” and got super stoked because people have noticed I exist and they think I’m decently cool.

Your girl (me) was lucky enough to score spot #13 on that list (happens to be my favorite number too) and I’m just so happy/stoked/honored to be put on this list with so many other amazing bloggers.

So, I recommend everyone check out DietToGo’s post and check out all of the other amazing bloggers who are also featured on the list. I know I did!

Anyway, I want to say again how excited I am that I was featured and want to thank Caitlin (author of the post) for taking the time to hand select my blog and to read some of my posts. It means so much

Talk to you all soon,

Alicia

Dear Body…

Published on March 10, 2016February 1, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

Dear body,
You know this already, but I have rekindled my love for exercise and eating healthy and taking care of myself. Due to this, I have also recently realized that all of my years of hating you has taken its toll.

I have spent the past 10 years hating you. I have spent the last 10 years pinching and poking at you, as if my fingers possessed some sort of magic power, granting me the ability to make you smaller and fit society’s ideals. I have spent 10 years hating what I saw in the mirror looking back at me. I have spent the last 10 years telling my mom, dad, friends etc that I did put sunscreen on when in fact I didn’t but I wanted to change the eggshell coating I was given to obtain that longed after sun kissed glow. I have spent 10 years paging through magazines, looking in awe of actresses, singers, Victoria Secret models, and other celebrities near and far, asking myself why don’t you look like them. It has come to my attention that all of this negative energy, and poking, prodding, hating, it has harmed you.

At age 14, I started counting calories. After everyone had told me you were too big, too unhealthy. After my doctor had told me your size had skyrocketed. After people had told me than you needed to be sucked in, hid under clothes, changed, tampered with, etc. Because of all of this, I only allowed 1200 calories for you every day.I did this, hoping to make you smaller, more appealing, more loved, more accepted. When in reality I was harming you, depriving you of all you needed. All you needed to keep me functioning. What I would fill you with was 1200 calories of horrible, processed garbage. I was harming you. I was eating so little and not giving you the proper nutrients for a little girl to grow, flourish, thrive. I was trying to make you smaller, prettier, tanner. I was trying to make you the complete opposite of what you were. I would always leave you wanting more, my stomach grumbling with starvation, and for a while I would not give in.

Alas, these 1200 calorie days were not feasible. So I started bingeing. I would eat a carrot for breakfast. 30 calories for the most important meal of the day. Skipping lunch and then working out trying to burn as many calories as possible. When 3pm hit, and you were sick of being empty, I would fill you with any processed foods I could get my hands on from cookies, cakes, crackers, ice cream… anything to fill up my sad and grumbling stomach. I would do this constantly and then hate myself and you for letting this happen to me.

Everything I would do to you was out of hatred. Every blade to slice open my skin, every suicidal thought, every time I would starve myself to make you more appealing, every time I would binge, was out of hatred to you. When all this time, after all of the years I hated you, you did nothing but love me. You, you were the only one to love me unconditionally after all I had been through. After everything I did to you, you continued to love me.

I never realized all you have done for me. Every day and night for 19 years you have struggles keeping me alive… Struggled keeping me healthy, sane, thriving. Trying so hard to manage on the food I was putting into you, and it was hard. It has been so hard. And I’m so sorry. Every time I put the razor to my skin because I hated you so much, you would also try to fix yourself. Every part of my body adorned with scars show me this. Every time I would starve myself and not eat despite how many times your grumbles crying out for me to eat, you wouldn’t get mad at me. You still love me, despite everything I have done to you.

Every hateful word I have said and every harsh thing I have done to you, you have continued to love me unconditionally and keep me alive on this world. All I Have to say is that I am sorry. I am sorry for harming you. I am sorry for not loving you. I am sorry for not seeing all you have done and continue to do for me.

I am trying, body. I am trying to love you. I am trying to love you and myself. However, it’s been so hard. But I’m working on it. Nothing but good food has entered you since January 16th. My last binge was January 13th. The last time a razor touched you was September 3rd, 2015. I am working, and I am trying. Thank you for not giving up on me, despite all of the times I have given up on you. I love you.

Alicia

Valentine’s Day

Published on February 14, 2016May 27, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

Hi all, well it’s everyone’s favorite or least favorite day of the year, Valentine’s Day. Personally, I can’t stand Valentine’s Day. I’ve always believed it has been a Hallmark Holiday (which it is). However, I feel as though I might enjoy the day if I.. I don’t know… HAD A VALENTINE. Those help. The closest thing to a Valentine I have this year is my grandma, who sent me $20 and a cute card with a bear on it. Rough life. I have never been fortunate enough to have a Valentine, although I really don’t feel like I’m missing out on much, because while I don’t get anything from anyone, in return I also don’t have to buy anything for anyone. So, as much as I would love a dozen Roses and one of those huge bears that is my size, I’m fine being alone on this day every year. After all, if I have learned one thing from the movie Valentine’s Day, hating on Valentine’s Day is always 10000x more fun than celebrating the actual holiday. It’s science.

Besides the point, my holiday celebrations will include me and my roommate hiding in our dorm all day to avoid all of the couples on my floor. My roommate isn’t used to the whole no valentine on Valentine’s Day concept, since she’s had one every year for at least the past 4 years. I, on the other hand, am an expert. Killing the no valentine game for the 19th consecutive year has made me immune to love on this day and I can weave my way in and out of lovey dovey couples with ease.

All kidding aside, I think Valentine’s Day is just another excuse for girls to be given gifts and for their poor boyfriends to have to not only buy them stuff, but to pay for dinner as well. Having a girlfriend seems expensive. This is one of the few times when being a girl leans in our favor.

That’s all for today.

Talk to you Thursday

Alicia