teen – Page 25 – Living off Leesh

March 20th 6:25am

Published on March 20, 2016February 1, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

6:25am As the birds chirp outside my window, signifying the first day of spring, I rise from my slumber to see the time illuminated on my phone. 6:25am it reads. Why would I be up this early on a Sunday morning. I look to my right to see my roommate’s covers pulled back as she is already getting ready for the gym and yoga to follow.

6:29 my phone now reads. The chirping of birds that I heard is replaced by the running of the faucet of those early Sunday risers. Unlocking my phone and peeking at all of my messages, I begin to realize that I may never get back to bed.

6:31 I hear a skateboard cruise along the sidewalk, only creating noise as it crosses the cracks on the sidewalk.

6:37, my door swings open, my room illuminated as my roommate steps back into the room. She grabs something unknown to me and leaves the room again, the room returning back to its dark state, the only light peaking in from under the door.

6:49 the room begins to get lighter as the sun makes its way over the parking structure adjacent to my window. The sky dances with new colors signifying the new day. The pinks, oranges, and reds of the sky casting their colors across every inch of land I can see from my small window.

7:30 The sun is up completely. The brightness causing me to close my blinds slightly as my sleep filled eyes aren’t yet used to all of this light. From across the room I can hear my roommate shuffle across the floor to put her shoes on. She thinks I’m still asleep so she tip-toes across the room collecting her belongings before silently embarking on her walk to the gym.

7:32 As the door closes softly, I am left with myself, the chirping birds, and the sun. I roll over in bed and the next time I check my phone it reads 9:17am.

Until Thursday

Alicia

P.S. Apparently my last post was my 50th post on this blog. That’s so exciting for me to have posted 50 things on here that people actually read and I can’t wait to post even more.

Lucky Day

Published on March 17, 2016May 27, 2018 by Alicia2 Comments

And no, I’m not referring to the seahorse that was supposed to win big in the 2004 hit movie Shark Tale, but I’m talking about St. Patrick’s Day.

Hi all, As I’m assuming all of you know, today is Saint Patrick’s Day. And although my Irish ancestors have cursed me with ivory skin that burns within the first 5 seconds of walking outdoors. However, they did give me a few good genes. Some of those being a love for potatoes (although I’m not quite sure who doesn’t love potatoes so…) and myself and all of my other pale skinned Irish friends have our own day to party and wear green, and pretend we’re leprechauns.

Today, I didn’t manage to leave my bed until 2:17pm, probably not due to the fact that I had no classes today, but the fact that looking outside I didn’t anyone donning green attire with face paint and stupid beads. I didn’t see people with ‘Kiss me I’m Irish” or “Kiss me I’m (pretending to be) Irish” shirts. It was a sight unlike any I’ve ever seen on this holiday.

Back home, St. Patrick’s Day is an enormous deal. The festivities begin the weekend before, as everyone and their mother heads downtown to see the Chicago River being dyed green, followed by a parade, and other events scattered across the city. For the entire week leading up to St. Patrick’s Day, everyone wears some sort of green to school (even my college friends who go to school in Chicago can attest to this statement and the ones to follow) so it not merely us high school folk) in preparation for the grand day.

When St. Patrick’s Day finally arrives, everyone goes all out. Kids show up to school decked out in festive shirts, green pants, shamrock socks and earrings, and of course not forgetting as many green beads that can fit around their necks. Some even dye their hair green for the day or sport green eye shadow, those who do are truly spirited and I give them high praises. Our school is always a sea of green and everyone, whether they are Irish or not, is Irish for the day and stoked about it.

After school, my friends and family head to a bar where my mom grew up where we are fed, and after food, music is played and Irish dancers litter the floor of the bar. They go on for hours until we finally make our way back to my grandma’s house for some of her famous corned beef and cabbage (obviously as a vegan I won’t be eating the corned beef but I do eat cabbage and potatoes).

The day is full of fun, laughter, joy, and just love for the Irish. I guess California didn’t get the memo about how great of a country Ireland is. So, alas, I will go back to eating potatoes in my dorm and subtly cheering on one of my favorite holidays (aka wearing olive-green shirt, green bracelets, and using my minty green mouthwash).

Until Sunday
Alicia

Here’s to New Adventures

Published on March 15, 2016May 27, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

Good evening everyone. Once again, sorry for not posting on Sunday, my planned post was to discuss my best friend coming to visit me here in San Diego for her spring break, but alas she didn’t leave until late Sunday night, and I spent all of yesterday (after class of course) sleeping. So, here we are now, about to embark in another late blog post about another tidbit of my life.

My friend who came to visit me, is from Arizona, coincidentally she also attends Arizona State University (no that’s not why I’m going there) and her spring break was last week. She visited me for her fall break (I would’ve discussed that on here too but I’m pretty sure I made this blog about a week after she left…) and she decided that San Diego and I were good enough hosts for her to return for another leap of adventure. She arrived in San Diego after my classes and (almost) daily venture to the gym and then after a few hours of watching Netflix and catching up, we went to bed.

Something I was blessed with this semester is not having classes on Thursday’s. Due to this, I do one of two things. 1. Don’t leave my bed until 3pm or 2. Get up bright and early and early and explore my city, always searching for new coffee shops to do homework and escape people.

So, Thursday we hopped on the trolley (sort of like a subway or the L for my Chicagoans) and then transferred to a bus. We ended up taking that bus all the way to its end and ended up at UCSD. Obviously we had no means or longing to be there, so we hopped back on that bus except headed the other way obviously and ended up at a mall where we got lunch. We had been on public transportation for almost 2 hours and had only been to lunch and a bus tour of UCSD. We had no idea what we wanted to do, so we opted to head to downtown La Jolla and just walk around, see the beach etc. so that’s what we did. After eating at a cute vegetarian/vegan place, we got on yet another bus and headed for La Jolla.

Upon arriving in La Jolla, I wanted to see some murals that I have seen on Facebook and heard about through the grapevine. We managed to find one (after walking in the opposite direction for a mile), which was bricks painted in all different colors, however there were cars parked in front of it, so I only got a few pictures. After that, I decided that we could walk to see a few of the other murals. After, once again walking in the wrong direction (thanks Siri) we found a sort of main street La Jolla and took that to find another mural. My friend, Marisa, wanted to see the sea lions of La Jolla, so we made the short walk over to the coast and saw a multitude of them, a few with babies even. We stayed for the Sunset, because what’s better than a sunset on the beach???? After the sunset, we found a few more murals and ended up back at the bus and took it back to Old Town, to get dinner. After dinner we took the trolley back to my dorm and passed out we were so tired.

quinoa salad

1st mural

2nd mural

trees

We didn’t do anything on Friday, because I had class and a ton of homework. Marisa ended up visiting another one of her friends who also happened to be in San Diego for spring break, but yeah Friday was nothing special. I slept a lot and did a lot of homework. Grand day.

Saturday was a bit more eventful than Friday. I had wanted to visit a cute cafe that I had seen on a lot of my friends’ Instagrams at Pacific beach, and Marisa had wanted to play mini golf (which there is a course at Mission Beach) so we decided to spend the day at some beaches. There were wayyyyy too many Spring Breakers (not gnarly dude) at the beaches for my liking, however since it was on the colder side (60s) it was better than it could have been. We first went to Mission Beach, where we went to an arcade and I spend about $20 just to leave with a harmonica, duck fan, sticky octopus, eraser, and like some other thing that I literally have no way to describe. After that I creamed Marisa at mini golf. On that note, she was ready to leave Mission Beach to go to Pacific Beach. After taking the bus from Mission Beach to PB, we made it to Rum Jungle Cafe. Marisa apparently is terrified of fruit and refused to eat the delicious ace bowl topped with mango, banana, pineapple, and coconut. So, I had to eat both of ours (not complaining though because fruit is the bomb). After that we walked around the pier, and around the beach also making it in time for the sunset. Finally about 830 we stopped at Denny’s for dinner. After Denny’s and about 7 trips to the bathroom after inhaling all of the iced tea I could, we boarded the bus again and headed back to campus.

On Sunday, the day Marisa left, we had no idea what we were going to do. Finally, after much debating, I looked at some coffee shops that I had not yet been to, and found some that were somewhat close and decided we would do to them. The first one we went to, called Bird Rock Coffee Roasters, was really good. I got a soy latte and the barista put a cute foam flower on top of the coffee. We didn’t stay too long before making our way to the bus station to get on the #2 bus to be dropped off right by the next shop. Much to our chagrin, the bus wasn’t on time, so we took a different bus and had to walk a mile uphill to get to the coffee shop. Needless to say I had 23 flights of stairs and was not in the mood for anymore hot coffee. We got tea and some cute vegan pasture and sat down, cooling off from our hike up that hill. Once we finally finished there, Marisa and I decided that we would take the bus back to Old town and get dinner before she left. After dinner, we got back to my dorm, I took my mail in ballot to the nearest drop box (#feeltheBern) and then Marisa left.

It was really nice to be able to see her and I can’t wait to be a mere 30 minutes away from each other in the fall.
Alicia

Dear Body…

Published on March 10, 2016February 1, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

Dear body,
You know this already, but I have rekindled my love for exercise and eating healthy and taking care of myself. Due to this, I have also recently realized that all of my years of hating you has taken its toll.

I have spent the past 10 years hating you. I have spent the last 10 years pinching and poking at you, as if my fingers possessed some sort of magic power, granting me the ability to make you smaller and fit society’s ideals. I have spent 10 years hating what I saw in the mirror looking back at me. I have spent the last 10 years telling my mom, dad, friends etc that I did put sunscreen on when in fact I didn’t but I wanted to change the eggshell coating I was given to obtain that longed after sun kissed glow. I have spent 10 years paging through magazines, looking in awe of actresses, singers, Victoria Secret models, and other celebrities near and far, asking myself why don’t you look like them. It has come to my attention that all of this negative energy, and poking, prodding, hating, it has harmed you.

At age 14, I started counting calories. After everyone had told me you were too big, too unhealthy. After my doctor had told me your size had skyrocketed. After people had told me than you needed to be sucked in, hid under clothes, changed, tampered with, etc. Because of all of this, I only allowed 1200 calories for you every day.I did this, hoping to make you smaller, more appealing, more loved, more accepted. When in reality I was harming you, depriving you of all you needed. All you needed to keep me functioning. What I would fill you with was 1200 calories of horrible, processed garbage. I was harming you. I was eating so little and not giving you the proper nutrients for a little girl to grow, flourish, thrive. I was trying to make you smaller, prettier, tanner. I was trying to make you the complete opposite of what you were. I would always leave you wanting more, my stomach grumbling with starvation, and for a while I would not give in.

Alas, these 1200 calorie days were not feasible. So I started bingeing. I would eat a carrot for breakfast. 30 calories for the most important meal of the day. Skipping lunch and then working out trying to burn as many calories as possible. When 3pm hit, and you were sick of being empty, I would fill you with any processed foods I could get my hands on from cookies, cakes, crackers, ice cream… anything to fill up my sad and grumbling stomach. I would do this constantly and then hate myself and you for letting this happen to me.

Everything I would do to you was out of hatred. Every blade to slice open my skin, every suicidal thought, every time I would starve myself to make you more appealing, every time I would binge, was out of hatred to you. When all this time, after all of the years I hated you, you did nothing but love me. You, you were the only one to love me unconditionally after all I had been through. After everything I did to you, you continued to love me.

I never realized all you have done for me. Every day and night for 19 years you have struggles keeping me alive… Struggled keeping me healthy, sane, thriving. Trying so hard to manage on the food I was putting into you, and it was hard. It has been so hard. And I’m so sorry. Every time I put the razor to my skin because I hated you so much, you would also try to fix yourself. Every part of my body adorned with scars show me this. Every time I would starve myself and not eat despite how many times your grumbles crying out for me to eat, you wouldn’t get mad at me. You still love me, despite everything I have done to you.

Every hateful word I have said and every harsh thing I have done to you, you have continued to love me unconditionally and keep me alive on this world. All I Have to say is that I am sorry. I am sorry for harming you. I am sorry for not loving you. I am sorry for not seeing all you have done and continue to do for me.

I am trying, body. I am trying to love you. I am trying to love you and myself. However, it’s been so hard. But I’m working on it. Nothing but good food has entered you since January 16th. My last binge was January 13th. The last time a razor touched you was September 3rd, 2015. I am working, and I am trying. Thank you for not giving up on me, despite all of the times I have given up on you. I love you.

Alicia

I am in need of a new mentality

Published on February 21, 2016October 14, 2016 by AliciaLeave a comment

After my last post about inner beauty being the most important, I realized I never got to say what I actually wanted to discuss. I started off that post saying that I needed to improve n something. The original post title was actually the title of this post “I am in need of a new mentality.” The thing I need to work on is my inner thoughts and actions.

I saw on tumblr once that “The first thought that goes through your mind is what you have been conditioned to think; what you think next defines who you are.” And I truly believe this to be true.

I’ll see someone with rainbow hair and hella piercing and at first I’ll be like “yikes” and right after I think that I’ll immediately regret thinking that and instead be like “wow girl you look bomb, more power to you. defy norms be awesome” etc.

I have also noticed I tend to do this more when with friends. When my friends are like “wow he/she looks ugly” or “why would they wear that” I tend to agree right off the bat. And I hate that I do that. It’s just second nature to judge people and that we live in a world where judgement comes so naturally.

Something I have always wanted /needed to do is to live a life of complete non-judgement. I need to stop basing my first reactions of people on my first judgemental thoughts. I know everyone is victim to it.

After dying my hair red, while there were so many people who were very supportive and who loved it, there were a ton of people who judged it, and people I didn’t know were also very judgemental of it too. They probably judged my whole self based on my hair color when in reality they knew nothing about me. It’s sad that this is the kind of world that we live in, but it’s reality.

I hate when I judge people based on random things. Maybe they have crazy hair, or a lot of piercings, or a ton of tattoos, maybe they have gauges, dress differently than me, or whatever else it may be. That doesn’t give me a right to judge them. Especially because I had had red hair, I have 3 tattoos, I have 11 piercings, and I don’t dress the same as everyone.

Just because someone is different than me doesn’t give me the right to judge. Just because I could never see myself with gauges or with a neck tattoo, doesn’t give me the right to judge those people who like those things. I don’t like being judged by people who don’t know me and basing me off of my appearance and not my personality. So, if I don’t like it, why can i judge others on the same things I hate? Oh right, I can’t.

That’s all for now.

Until Thursday

Alicia

Does What’s on the Inside Truly Matter?

Published on February 18, 2016October 14, 2016 by AliciaLeave a comment

Hi everyone. Look at me a week of keeping up with my post schedule. So proud of myself.

Anyways, something that I have always wondered about is the differentiation of inner and outer beauty and which one truly matters. I have come to realize there are quite a few things in my life that need work/ I need to improve on. Something people always think of when people say they want to fix something is something on the outside ie. needing to lose 20 pounds, wanting to fix their nose, wanting to get toned, etc. I’m already working on those (not the nose one… I think my nose is cute) by going to the gym and eating healthy and vegan and gluten-free whenever possible.

What people never seem to focus on is what is on the inside. We are raised being told it’s what’s on the inside that matters, but is that truly the case? When women in magazines are drop dead gorgeous and photoshopped to hide every flaw and every celebrity looks god/goddess-like wherever they go. In high school, and hell even middle school, the ‘popular crowd’ is always the cream of the crop on the outside. But what about their insides? Let me tell you there are some evil thoughts inside those perfect porcelain walls of theirs. Not that people not in those groups can’t be downright rude and a displeasure to be around, but if they are, they don’t have nearly as many friends if any at all. So, does it really matter what’s on the inside? That’s a question I’ve always wondered. I’ve (almost) always been a nice kid, especially in school ,and have never been considered popular. Popular amongst my group of friends,sure, but not what every kid envisions growing up.

In mean girls (do not judge me for using mean girls as an example.. it was a staple in every girl’s life growing up), Regina George is a horrible person : she bullies people, is so rude to her friends and everyone around her, and cheats on her boyfriend, yet, because she is gorgeous, she is considered a queen (literally… boys carried her outside for gym) I remember growing up and thinking I wanted to be popular, but never wanting to stoop to Regina George’s level to attain that much attention and popularity. So, what truly matters? the outside or the inside? In order to have all of these friends and get likes and favorites on instagram and twitter, do I have to be drop dead gorgeous or just know how to contour so well I look like a completely different person? Is that what it takes? Unfortunately neither of those things are attainable for me, so what now?

Do I succumb to a level of bitchiness with average looks in hope of achieving more friends? Of course not.So, what? I need to step back and look at everyone in my life I do have. Do I want to be friends with those people like Regina George who bully people, or with the people who bullied me? What about those people who are rude to their own friends to make themselves feel better? No, why would I want to be friends with those people, I want to be friends with genuine people and make long lasting quality friendships.

I have spent so much of my life longing to be popular and gorgeous. I have spent my fair share of time wondering if my friends and I were prettier, skinnier, more athletic etc… would we be popular? These things used to keep me up at night. When in the end it really doesn’t matter. My friends and I are beautiful just the way we are. We may not look like Barbie dolls, but we are genuine, kind, loving, caring, intelligent, generous, and just overall amazing human beings. They are there for me at all times during my best and worst times, and I am so thankful for all they do for me. So, the truth is, what’s on the inside does truly matter.

That’s all for today

Talk to you all on Saturday

Alicia

Valentine’s Day

Published on February 14, 2016May 27, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

Hi all, well it’s everyone’s favorite or least favorite day of the year, Valentine’s Day. Personally, I can’t stand Valentine’s Day. I’ve always believed it has been a Hallmark Holiday (which it is). However, I feel as though I might enjoy the day if I.. I don’t know… HAD A VALENTINE. Those help. The closest thing to a Valentine I have this year is my grandma, who sent me $20 and a cute card with a bear on it. Rough life. I have never been fortunate enough to have a Valentine, although I really don’t feel like I’m missing out on much, because while I don’t get anything from anyone, in return I also don’t have to buy anything for anyone. So, as much as I would love a dozen Roses and one of those huge bears that is my size, I’m fine being alone on this day every year. After all, if I have learned one thing from the movie Valentine’s Day, hating on Valentine’s Day is always 10000x more fun than celebrating the actual holiday. It’s science.

Besides the point, my holiday celebrations will include me and my roommate hiding in our dorm all day to avoid all of the couples on my floor. My roommate isn’t used to the whole no valentine on Valentine’s Day concept, since she’s had one every year for at least the past 4 years. I, on the other hand, am an expert. Killing the no valentine game for the 19th consecutive year has made me immune to love on this day and I can weave my way in and out of lovey dovey couples with ease.

All kidding aside, I think Valentine’s Day is just another excuse for girls to be given gifts and for their poor boyfriends to have to not only buy them stuff, but to pay for dinner as well. Having a girlfriend seems expensive. This is one of the few times when being a girl leans in our favor.

That’s all for today.

Talk to you Thursday

Alicia

P.S. Here are some gifs of aloneness on Valentines day for all of single followers and me

Oops

Published on February 13, 2016May 27, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

Hi everyone. Long time, no blog. I think it’s been 18… 19 days? Anyway, it’s a Friday night, I’m snuggled up in bed, listening to/watching “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” post gym trip and acai bowl devouring. It’s been a long few weeks here at school. It seems as if I’ve been here for at least 2 months.

I can’t pinpoint exactly why this semester has dragged so much. It might be because I have classes 4 days a week and Thursday is my day off, maybe because I know I am transferring to ASU in the fall (obviously only if I get in) and am just trying to get out of San Diego (not that I hate it here, but this semester is almost insignificant pertaining to whether or not I make anymore friends, join any clubs, apply for any scholarships etc, or maybe just the fact that I have started noticing things in people whom I call my friends that are just god-awful. They probably aren’t that bad I’m just trying to make the move from school to school as minimally painful as possible and by finding things I hate completely, it will do just that (at least I hope it will)

In order to make this post not 100% negative, there have been many things that have happened since coming back to San Diego that I can’t neglect. I have rekindled my love for chemistry. Which is good, considering I want to be a chemical engineer (Chemistry is a little important). I loved Chemistry in high school but I seemed to have removed that class from my memory considering I received a B+ in that class and not an A. Oh sophomore year Alicia, just get ready for history classes. I am already 2 weeks ahead in that class and I actually doing the homework which is strange. It is only Chem 100 and will continue to get exponentially more difficult, but at the moment I am content will Chemistry.

My online class, American Indian Studies, has to be one of the easiest things I have done in my life (the quizzes while slightly more difficult as also online and not that I would work with a friend, 😉 it is possible and very beneficial for the both of us. The class is very chill and requires minimal work and is actually very interesting because we always learn history of American Indians from the white man’s perspective and this class allows us to get a different perspective.

My Spanish class, Spanish 302 has been decent. I love having it 3 times a week for 50 minutes rather than twice a week for an hour and 15 minutes. The last 20-25 minutes of class always dragged on and on and on but the less time a day we have, I don’t keep looking at the clock. ALSO, there many beautiful men in my class who are also sweet and good at Spanish. I have been doing rather decent in the class as well. Our first test is Monday and we were doing a review sheet in class. My profesora was picking kids by last name in the order of question answering. We were at the section of the review sheet where we have to switch sentences in the direct form to the indirect form. My profesora said “Esta pregunta, el fin, es más dificil que los otros… Alicia” which mean that the question I had to answer was the hardest. And guess who got it perfect?! This girl did. Let me give myself a pat on the back. Also, everyone thinks I’m 20 and I’m only 18. So either I look 20, or I seem smart, or both. I’ll take it.

While I did say that joining clubs this semester don’t really matter, I did go to the first SDSU Democrats meeting of the semester with some friends of mine. It was very insightful and nice to know that there are people who are just as (or more if that’s possible) liberal as I am and that they care about the future of not only San Diego, but our Nation as a whole. One of the vice presidents of Planned Parenthood came to speak to us about Planned Parenthood is being affected and how it is under attack due to the conservative criticism and pro-life supporters. She also discussed how we can become active and volunteer to help Planned Parenthood. Honestly, it was so amazing to hear this woman speak and it rally showed me how important this election is for everyone in the country.

There probably have been other aspects of coming back to State that have been great, that I just can’t remember.
Also, sorry I’m so flaky with my posts, I have decided that posting 3-4 times a week is just not really plausible for me. So, since Thursday is my offset, you can expect posts every Sunday and Thursday. This post doesn’t count because I’m implementing it now.

Anyway, Talk to you all soon (tomorrow)
Alicia

Beauty School Dropout

Published on January 7, 2016June 25, 2016 by AliciaLeave a comment

Hi all… So before deciding on my school of San Diego State University, I had also applied to 15 other schools. One of those schools was Arizona State University. My aunt lives only 15 minutes away from the Tempe campus so it would have been great for me to live in the dorms freshman year and then live with my aunt for the rest of college. I’d get my own car for driving to and from school, grocery shopping, and possibly working if I get a job out there. That would have been a good option for me however, when I first decided to go to San Diego, it was because I wanted to major in international business, which they are ranked #5 in the whole country for. However, now that I want to switch my major to engineering (and may end up switching again… you never know) and I would rather go to a school with a wide variety of good programs rather than a select few amazing majors.

So, I’m going to make a pro-con list of transferring to ASU. Some feedback on my pro con list would also be loved. Here we go

Pros of transferring to ASU

Get my own car
Live with my aunt
Get free food and board
Switch to engineering major
Be able to switch majors later if I want
get a fresh start
Join a new sorority- the one I initially want to join
Be close to family but still be independent
Be able to get a job off campus
Be able to intern at my aunt’s work
Be able to get a job at my aunt’s work
Make new friends
Won’t have to be an RA (my mom doesn’t want to pay for housing)
be by puppies all the time
I have freedom of what I can do (in my dorm you can’t have coffee makers, smoothie makers, candles, etc
Easier to get things I need- especially with a car. (don’t have to make a day of going to target because of how far it is)
Fam can visit more often and for cheaper
Can explore a completely new city and state
Won’t have to move out of dorm every spring
Going places with my aunt and uncle (they go on cruises a lot)
Pool in my backyard(helps make my knee feel better)

Cons of Transferring to ASU

leave my friends
may be hard to make new friends
Have a lesser sense of independence
leaving San Diego
Possibility all of my credits wont transfer
Leaving my favorite coffee shop
Commuting every day

Honestly, it seems that the right idea is ASU but for some reason I’m still not sure.

Please help in my decision.

Talk to you all soon

Alicia

Happy New Year

Published on January 4, 2016May 27, 2018 by Alicia1 Comment

Hi folks. So, while most people are sound asleep at 1:38 in the morning hoping to wake up in 5 ish short hours t head to the gym (to complete one week of their lose weight new years resolution) or head to work or school, I sit here in bed with not a care in the world… except for registering for classes and hoping my classes I want for 2nd semester haven’t been filled up yet. Quite an easy life for me it seems.

For this post. I have decided to discuss some goals I have for the new year. I will also (hopefully) follow up on them a few times a year to see how they’re going.

Become vegan. (Robbed Target of fruits, veggies, and other vegan necessities)
Become Buddhist (I bought the book “Walk like a Buddha” and can’t wait to read it)
Blog at least 4 times a week (not including during midterms or finals)
Lost 30 pounds (I’ve been lower than 30 pounds lower than what I am but it’s a start)
Keep my room clean (A clean room is a clean mind)
Make new friends
Get 10,000 steps 5/7 days of the week (I have a fitbit so she counts them for me)
Get a new tattoo and piercing (not sure where or what but I want them)
Try 5 new coffee places (I love coffee and cute coffee shops)
Love myself (something I’ve been working on for years and will continue to work on)
Take care of myself. (Brush my teeth, eat good, floss, take vitamins, shave, tweeze my eyebrows, get my nails done, lotion my body, etc)

This is only 11 but I probably have more things but it’s almost 2am and I’m loopy

Talk to you all soon

Alicia 🙂

Best of… 2015

Published on December 30, 2015May 27, 2018 by Alicia4 Comments

Hi everyone. So, since 2015 is dwindling away to nothing (terrifying I know) I have decided to look back on my social media cites (twitter and instagram) and share with my loving readers my most popular tweets and photos of this grand year. So, here we go.

Twitter Top 9

Instagram Top 9

That’s all for me and social media.

Talk to you all soon

Alicia 🙂

Letter to a Younger Me

Published on December 29, 2015May 27, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

Dear Alicia,

You are beautiful. I will tell you this right now. No one will tell you except mom and all of her friends who are obligated to comment sweet things about their awkward teenage daughter because she has commented similar things on their posts with their model children. Have you met the Carey family? Anywho, you are beautiful. I don’t care what all those bullies have/will say, you’re beautiful.

You are an intellect. Everyone is. We’re all just good at different things. You are good at math and science and cannot draw for shit. That’s okay. Art and history aren’t your strong suits. Excel at what you are good at. Meanwhile, the artist and historian will be jealous of all of the amazing things you are accomplishing.

You are spectacular. You are a girl who has a smile to light up the room. Friends and family who cherish you (even when you don’t think they do) and let’s be honest, pretty great hair. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Give no one consent.

Those girls who are being mean to you now will mean nothing in 5 years. When you graduate with honors and they struggle to make it our high school and end up at community college… who really won? Oh yeah, you.

College is your decision. Student loans suck but honestly, going to your dream school that you love and are comfortable at is worth lifelong debt. Never let anyone try to sway your college decision. Go where you want, and study what you want. Also, you don’t need to have your mind made up at the age of 14. Molly thought she did and completely switched. It’s okay to not know.

It’s okay to cry. Cry about grandma, cry about missing the dog, Madi, dad, cry about your favorite TV character dying (you will trust me and you’ll be embarrassed, it’s fine). But do never let stupid people make you cry. (You will, trust me, but never cry in front of them) Don’t let them win.

You will regret cutting yourself. When people ask what’s wrong with your legs, and you have to say you fell, or your dog scratched you, or what have you, it’s embarrassing and sad. You also will still have those scars in college and you will not wear shorts because of them… yes even in California.

Do not kill yourself. People will tell you to kill yourself. People will tell you that killing yourself will not matter and no one will care. People. Will. Care. Trust me. Do not do it. Everyone will be sad and you can’t let those people win. Please don’t do it.

Spend as much time with your friends as you can. Once you all go off to college, scheduling hang outs during break is almost as painful as stepping on a lego. You won’t see everyone you wanted to and not everyone will want to see you. Move on.

That boy doesn’t love you. You may think he does, but he doesn’t. It will hurt, but guess what, his loss, not yours.

Be nice to Madi. She isn’t the worst sister you could have gotten and she deserved to be treated better.

Be kind to Rosie. Cuddle her, play with her, take her on walks. When you go off to college, you will only see her for four months and she is getting older. Just remember that even what she growls, she deep deep deep down does love you (i hope anyways)

Shower everyday. If you aren’t leaving the house… okay I get it. Whatever. But at least wash your face because you will need to.

Wear deodorant. Just do it.

Listen to mom and dad. Sometimes they are right (not always but sometimes)

Don’t be afraid to speak your mind. You have beautiful thoughts and they deserve to be shared with the world. People will listen and you will have enlightened someone on something. Speak up.

Do not be afraid to tell people your favorite movies or bands or books. Even if Shrek, Emperor’s New Groove, Miss Congeniality, Legally Blonde, High School Musical, One Direction, 5 Seconds of Summer, etc. are on there. It’s not just you who loves them.

Do not be afraid to not have plans. Stay in, watch movies and eat popcorn. One day you’ll wish you stayed in more.

Love yourself. This is something we are still working on. Growing up and being a teenager is very hard and going to school with models and beautiful skinny girls is even more rough. Women in magazines are not women in magazines. It’s just fact. Your body type isn’t the same as everyone else’s and your body is not their body and you are not them.

Do not compare yourself to other girls. Because guess what, that girl you idolize probably idolizes someone else too. You are too beautiful, amazing, perfect, and 100% unique to do that. No one looks just like you, so why do you want to look just like someone else? You don’t.

Be yourself. Dress like yourself. Act like yourself. If you have to act fake in front of people, they really aren’t your friends. Be friends with people who you can act like yourself around and keep them close.

I love you. You may not see that now and you may cry yourself to sleep every night because you hate yourself. You may cut yourself because you hate yourself. You may want to kill yourself because you hate yourself. But I love you. I am proud of you. I am proud of you for not killing yourself and stopping hurting yourself. You don’t cry yourself to sleep anymore and I have never been more proud of anyone in my life until now. You are an amazing girl and have accomplished so much in your 18 years on this planet and while there have been ups and downs, you are still here and in one piece. I am proud of you for that.

I love you,

Alicia

Feliz Navidad

Published on December 28, 2015May 27, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

Hi all.
I hope you all have had a merry Christmas, or Kwanzaa or Hanukkah or whatever you celebrate. Mine was good. Coming home from school has been nice and being able to catch up with friends and family has been even better and I’m loving every second of it. Minus the time my dad has been making fun of me and trying to be funny. “I have to make up for all of me you haven’t seen in the past 4 months” Splendid.
Seeing all of my family and friends has made it seem like I just vacationed to San Diego and never really left home which has been nice. I also realized how much I took for granted since coming home- being able to do laundry in my pajamas so literally all of my clothes will be clean, HOME COOKING, TV, my own bed, my puppy, and most importantly my friends and family.
While I have missed all of these things, I can’t get wait to get back to SD. 3 more weeks here though. 🙂

What holiday do you all celebrate and what did you all do for the holidays?
Talk to you all soon.
Alicia

Guess who’s back, back again

Published on December 22, 2015May 27, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

Hi all, I’m back. I knew that I wouldn’t be posting often in the last month due to finals, but I wasn’t aware it would be almost a month of no posts. I figure I’ll give an update on my life and what has happened in the past month.

For starters I spent the majority of December, after returning from Arizona from Thanksgiving at my aunt’s house, I spent studying, crying because of studying and taking finals.

Now that I’m done with finals, I am back home in Chicago and already longing to go back to San Diego. I am happy to see old friends and family, my dog and my bed are the best however I miss the warm weather and being on my own. I’ll blog when I can over break and may queue up a few posts now and then.

Until next time, I’ll be refreshing my grades to see if my finals and final grades have been posted.

Talk to you all soon

Alicia

What I’m Thankful for

Published on November 24, 2015May 27, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

Hey all, so I hope you all are having a good Thanksgiving Holiday. I left for my aunt’s house yesterday and I am so happy to be on this break. My aunt took me shopping for all of the vegan and gluten free food I could eat which I’m very thankful for and she even bought me some soap so i didn’t have to lug my big pump soap dispenser all the way to Phoenix. She is working a half day today, so I have spent my time relaxing, cuddling with her 3 puppies, watching real TV and not Netflix (1st world problems I know) and doing aa bit of homework. Since there are 2 days until Thanksgiving, I’ve decided to beat everyone to the punch of saying what I’m thankful for. For starters, I typically never think about what I’m thankful for, because I’ve been pretty lucky in growing up. Granted I don’t have my own car or go to Harvard or can always be buying whatever I want, I always have had a roof over my head, food on my plate, and a loving and caring support group of family and friends who are always there when I need them. I remember one year, my mom, sister, and I went up to Wisconsin for Thanksgiving weekend to visit my mom’s best friend and her family. On Saturday they did their Thanksgiving dinner and after we went around the room and said what we were thankful for. One of the ladies had recently gotten laser eye surgery and said that she was thankful for being able to see. One little girl said she was thankful for puppies that exist because her dog recently died and puppies made her not miss her dog so much, and someone else said they were thankful to not have to work on Thanksgiving for the first time in 10 years. I can fully admit that I have taken each and every one of these things for granted in my life. I have 20/20 vision and the only time I can’t see is when my eyes are closed. Puppies are such a gift and despite my depression, going into a pen filled with puppies can lighten anyone’s day, I’m telling you try it sometime. I’ve never worked on Thanksgiving. Granted I have only been a nanny but had the parents both had to work on Thanksgiving, I might have had to do that. It’s so funny. All the things we take for granted and things we never really appreciate until other people don’t have them and we notice it on them, or we don’t have them ourselves.
I’m thankful for so much, it’s not even funny. I’m thankful that I wake up everyday bright eyed and bushy tails (not all days) and am given the opportunity to go to a good college and learn to further my education.
I’m thankful that I have clean drinking water and can brush my teeth, shower, and drink something so pure and clean.
I’m thankful that I was given the opportunity to travel over halfway across the country for college and that my parents and grandparents are helping me and paying for most of it.
I’m thankful that I have a nice warm bed to retire to at the end of every day and that no matter what, it will be there
I’m thankful that I have a roof over my head and food on my plate. Not everyone has both. Not everyone has even one of these things and I’m so thankful that I was given a life where both are not seen as luxuries
I’m thankful for my family, friends, peers, acquaintances, random hot boys I have seen at coffee shops,etc. I’m thankful for all of you because, you have all impacted my life in some way, even if just in the slightest sense.
I’m thankful for electricity. Thank you computer, iPhone, iPad, TV, etc for existing because you make my life so much easier. While you have created an antisocial society, you have helped me write essays, capture moments, and stay in touch with family despite being 2500 miles away
I’m thankful for animals. I love animals. I love how I feel when I am around animals and I’m thankful that animals have given me the inspiration to pursue a career with them in mind.
Finally, I am thankful for myself. Why? I am thankful that I have a good head on my shoulders and that I have dreams and aspirations and that I can do anything I set my mind to. I love you self
That’s a bit of what I’m thankful for. Talk to you all soon
Alicia