college eating – Page 2 – Living off Leesh

June Reflection

Published on June 30, 2016May 27, 2018 by Alicia2 Comments

From turning 19, to starting my new job, June has been quite an intense and busy month. Not only has it been busy, tiring, and all around hectic, it has been quite eye opening. I’ve learned a lot, done a lot, and slept a lot :/. All in all, I loved June.

Starting my first big girl job, technically began on May 31st… but that’s basically June. It has been tortuous and hard but I have learned a lot about hard work and met a lot of wonderful people. So, despite it being rough and my body still aching every day after work, I do like my job. I do not think, however, that I could do this longer than a summer.

This month I made the decision to give up social media. And my oh my was that the best decision of the summer. I am happier, more social, and while not up to date on everything, I have been able to focus more on myself which is something I typically don’t do.

Speaking of focusing on myself, I was finally able to pinpoint aspects of my life I was not content with. Not only that, but I also had the courage to discuss these things. Yes, I am talking about my college conundrum.

I typically am able to speak up for myself when I’m not happy with something, however, when it’s your family who wants you to do something and is paying the vast majority of tuition to do that something, you tend to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. My whole life I had excelled at everything math and science. Out of over 100 students my freshman year, I was ranked #4 for my algebra class. It’s a pretty solid accomplishment, especially since I was adapting to a new environment and still managed to get almost a 100% in the class. Anyways, it’s something I am naturally good at. Naturally, my family assumed I would do something in the math and science field and wanted me to do so in order to get a high paying job. It took every ounce of courage and bravery to stand up to my family and tell them I wanted to do something completely out of that ballpark and I’m so proud of myself for doing that and overcoming this obstacle in my life.

Finally, I turned 19. A pretty insignificant year if you ask me. One year closer to 21, but also one year closer to adulthood. Nonetheless, I turned 19 and had the delight of sleeping in and eating some very cute, and very yummy vegan and gluten free cupcakes.

I am in a really good place right now and loving life. Farewell June, bring it on July.

Alicia

73 Things that Make Me Happy

Published on June 29, 2016May 27, 2018 by Alicia3 Comments

This summer has been a sort of making myself into who I want to be, in a sense. Ever since I have been making my own decisions and doing things that I want and love to do, I have been exuding happiness and smiling more. So, I have seen quite a few of these sorts of lists and wanted to make one for myself.

The smell after it rains
Freshly washed sheets
Getting into bed right after a shower, with shaven legs and a big t-shirt
The smell of the flower section at Trader Joe’s
Freshly brewed coffee
The feeling of the sun on your skin when you’ve been inside for a while.
Crossing things off of checklists
Drinking lemonade in the summer
Not having to get out of the bed in the morning
Getting complimented
When I reach my Fitbit step goal for the day
Taking a nap after a long day at work
Pay Day
Reorganizing something that desperately needed it
Finally finishing cleaning my room
Cooking
When I get home from somewhere and my dog is the first one to greet me
Fresh fruit and vegetables
Walking barefoot in the grass
Singing along to a song in the car
Sunrises
Sunsets
The sound of the Ocean
The smell of the Ocean
Baby goats
Baby pigs
Really any animal let’s be honest
Waking up in the middle of the night and realizing you have more time to sleep
The cold side of the pillow
Wearing a new outfit
The sound of an ice cream truck
Feeling confident
Having an all around good day
Getting a text from someone you haven’t talked to in a while
Dairy-free ice cream
Getting a day off of work
Printed photographs
Scrapbooks
Getting new shoes
Getting my nails done
Getting a haircut… that I actually don’t hate
Hanging out with friends for the first time in a while
Writing
Museums
Getting flashed a smile from a stranger
Listening to a band’s new album for the first time
Early morning when all you hear are birds chirping
The color blue
Bookstores
Volunteering
Small towns
Crunchy leaves
My favorite pair of jeans
When people use the correct form of ‘your’
Taking my shoes/bra off after a long day
Candles
No dirty dishes in the sink
Making lists
Playing cards with a big group of people
Coloring Books
Watching Dr. Pimple Popper videos
Disney movies
Seeing pictures people took of me doing things when I didn’t know I was being photographed
My smooth skin after shaving my legs
The smell of my shampoo
Office supply stores
Notebooks
Stargazer Lilies
Murals
Potatoes
Cobblestones streets
Rainbows
Stickers

Alicia

Giddy but Inconclusive

Published on June 27, 2016May 27, 2018 by Alicia2 Comments

Alrighty-o fam. Here we are, still giddy and such despite having worked a full shift on my feet today and wanting to pass out.

Now, we have made it this far with my college choice and major decision, here comes the hard part: choosing a school. I can recall quite vividly crying on my couch as I scrolled over every college website I possibly could, without having a major in mind. Never in my life did I think I would have to complete this process all over again unless of course, I would be attending graduate school (besides the point). However, at this point, I have a solid major and minor combo (Spanish major with photojournalism minor) and need to find a school containing both, being cheap, and probably closer to home. I didn’t really miss home but it’s a request of my family. Also, my training I have to go to is based out of the midwest so it helps that I’ll be closer. Also, I sort of want a smaller school because I felt like I knew like 2 people at SDSU because of how big it is.

Funny isn’t it, how when choosing my first college I wanted as far from home as I could get, big school, warm weather, and a school with a football team. After me realizing that my parents weren’t just going to sneak up on me any random time, attending one football game, and realizing I hated the big school atmosphere, I want the complete opposite from a school. I’m still on boat with the school being as cheap as possible, but honestly, who isn’t?

We have a variety of schools to choose from, not too large of a variety but enough wiggle room to have a few good schools that I’ll be sure to find at least one I love.

The school choices (so far) are…

Cardinal Stritch University (Wisconsin)
Otterbein University (Ohio)
University of Indianapolis (Indiana)
University of Tennessee-Martin (Tennessee)
Andrews Universty (Michigan)
Murray State University (Kentucky)
Ashland University (Ohio)
Winona State University (Minnesota)
The University of Findlay (Ohio)
Xavier University (Ohio)

I’m sort of partial to Xavier University in Cincinnati because that was actually my top choice behind SDSU but I didn’t choose it because they have no football team, it was small, and religious (I know you don’t have to be of that religion to attend but still, Theology 101… really?!)

So, who knows. Might end up at Xavier, might end up at one of the others I mentioned. Or I may even end up elsewhere.

Update on my current schooling situation. I will not be attending ASU in the fall and will most likely be staying here and working or babysitting and whatnot. However, my aunt is in town from Phoenix and still wants me to live with her. So I might go live with my aunt for the fall semester and work but honestly. who knows? Not me.

I have a lot on my plate for the next few weeks and a lot of tough decisions to make. However, I’m happy (and tired) as can be.

Alicia

Giddy

Published on June 23, 2016May 27, 2018 by Alicia5 Comments

Giddy. I am giddy.

Ever since starting this blog almost 9 months ago, I have blogged about being vegan, college, and every other aspect of my life as I saw fit. I have gone on and on about not knowing what I wanted to do with my life, where I wanted to go to college, and why people do things they hate just to make an extra buck or two.

Since a little while before my birthday (when my neighbor was flabbergasted at my major choice) I have been having constant mental breakdowns about college because I do not/ never did want to become an engineer and I was pressured into doing so by my family.

Last week at work, one of the ladies in the front office told me a very important piece of information. “I have sat at this desk 40 hours a week for the past 30 years. I hate it. And I can’t stress this enough. Do something you love and for god’s sake don’t get a desk job”

So, after having all of these mental breakdowns, cry sessions with my dog, and my parents trying to wrap their heads around what was going on inside of mine, I am a few steps closer to having a future to be proud of and happy with,

I told my dad that if all else fails I’m going to Spain to teach English to kids, I would finish college at some unbeknownst location, get my visa and move to Spain to start my job search, Yes, it’s a bit more complicated than that but I was brainstorming. Apparently this brainstorming led to my father telling my mother and she, due to a friend from high school, was able to find the perfect job for me.

Something I have also had a longing to do has been to travel. I also love Spanish and even though I don’t want kids of my own, children love me and through my last 9 years of babysitting I think kids and I get along rather well.

There is a thing called TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) and my mom’s friend started the International TEFL Academy where you can become certified in teaching English in other countries. She is going to talk with him and find out exactly what I need to major in to be suited for that program so I, like many other lucky individuals, can travel the world and get paid for doing something we love. Ever since that night that we discussed that option, I have been looking at schools across the country with spanish, ESL, and journalism (just because) majors so that I can be on the next step to doing something I love.

It’s only been a few days since this and already a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I am happier, smiling more, and just overall enjoying life. At dinner tonight my mom asked if I had taken some energy drink because I literally couldn’t sit still. Was it because of my delicious kombucha and black bean burger? Quite possibly. But, is the more likely option the fact that I am finally going to be doing something that I love and my parents are on board? Absolutely.

Until my next post I will be looking for a university that I can finish up at and prepare me for an amazing chapter of my life that I cannot wait to embark on

Also, I will continue to be giddy, because for the first time in a very long time, things are looking up for me.

Alicia

Blogger Recognition Award

Published on June 20, 2016 by Alicia6 Comments

Hi all! I’ve been pretty distant for the past week. Haven’t really been in the writing mood and haven’t even opened my laptop in over a week. Well, I did today and realized that I was nominated for the Blogger Recognition Award by lifeofaninspiredteen. So first, a huge thank you to her. PS everyone check her out. Cool blog, cool person.

So, basically, there are some rules, some fun stuff and then I get to paste this super cute image at the bottom of my blog for everyone to see. Let’s get started.

Rules:

1. Write a post to show your award.
2. Acknowledge the blogger that nominated you.
3. Give a brief story about how you got started blogging.
4. Give two pieces of advice for new bloggers.
5. Nominate 15 bloggers for the award.

Write a post to show your award (you’re reading it ;))

Acknowledge the blogger that nominated you. ONCE AGAIN SHOUT OUT TO lifeofaninspiredteen

How I started Blogging:

Well, I really don’t know. I mean I do, I just also don’t. I never liked reading and writing despite being relatively decent at it. I would always compare my work to other people and would really beat myself up about not being good enough. When I was 14 I started my weight loss blog to document what I was eating and my exercise schedule and other fun stuff like that. I also started a summer bucket list blog with my then best friend because we were bored and I had stumbled upon another blogger (doesn’t blog anymore or I’d link and shout her out) who had a summer bucket list blog. And then I guess that sparked my love for writing and I started my personal blog and then another weight loss blog and then this blog here and I got to where I am today.

Advice for new Bloggers:

Post often. The more you post, the more likely it will be that people will end up on your blog and follow you. I really need to work on it, but then again, don’t we all.
Don’t be afraid to comment, like, follow, or chat with other bloggers. When people comment on my blog I head over to their blog and read their posts. like a few, and even give a follow. This is how I have met a ton of cool bloggers and even discovered the blog that nominated me for this award. I love meeting new people and I’m sure I’m not the only one. So put yourself out there, you never know who you might meet. 🙂

Super Cool People I am Nominating:

So, that’s it. Once again thank you to lifeofaninspiredteen for the nom and I hope everyone I nominated follows the rules to keep spreading this awesome award!

Alicia

Leaving my phone at home: The chronicle

Published on June 11, 2016May 27, 2018 by Alicia1 Comment

5:10am the sound of the radar ringtone courses through my room as my head leaves my pillow searching for my phone to end that obnoxious sound.

5:15am After checking my phone for any texts and Kim Kardashian game notifications, I emerge from my room, shielding my eyes from the light glowing from downsairs. I make my way to my kitchen to have a quick bowl of cereal.

5:45am after exiting the shower, I move to my bed to check my phone, still on the charger.

5:57am By the time I check the time it is 5:57. My bed is drenched, I am not dressed, and I have less than 15 minutes to do everything I have to do.

6:12am I am in the car on the way to work. I start to doze off and hope I had remembered to do everything I needed.

6:37am As we make our first stop of the day, I rummage through my purse looking for my brush, eyebrow pencil, chapstick, and phone. I can only find the first 3. As panick courses through my veins as I open every pocket in purse, check the pocket on the side of the door, under my seat. Nothing. What ever will I do with no phone??

8:30am My first break of the day and the opportunity to use my phone. Oh wait. Instead of being on my phone for the short 10 minutes, I talk to people. Such a concept. I learn about Maria’s chile she is having for lunch, Blanca’s tattoos, and so much more.

11:30am Lunch time. Another 20 minute opportunity for phone usage. I grab my lunch and head into my dad’s office. I sit with him and talk to him, about his day, about everything that’s beem annoying him, and to everyone who walks into his office during those 20 minutes.

2:00pm Last break before I am done for the day. I sit with my dad again and the break goes by all too quickly. Learning about how a truck had to be sent back for the second time, and how everyone is annoying him

3:00pm I am done for the day but I still about 45 minutes until my father is done. I sit in his office talking to everyone who comes in, and him as well.

5:00pm We just arrived home and I throw my stuff in my room and don’t even grab my phone. Turns out a day with no phone wouldn’t be as bad I thought.
Alicia

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Published on May 21, 2016February 1, 2018 by Alicia2 Comments

I was babysitting for my neighbor’s kids the other day and as she got home, she asked me if I had picked my major for school. When I told her chemical engineering, her jaw almost dropped. When she finally spoke and asked why, I told her it’s because I’ve always been good with math and science and I’ll get a job easily. She then asked me if I enjoyed it. All of my extracurriculars had involved the things I liked doing (photography, writing, design, leadership) , not what I was known to be best at (math and science). So, what do I really want to be when I grow up?

We all can recall the first time we heard this question. When our teachers asked us this question, our eager 5 and 6-year-old faces lit up as boys shouted president and firefighter and girls exclaimed princess and nurse.

Sadly, I haven’t been asked what I want to do with my life recently. People just assume I will do something in the math and science field or something international (I’ve taken spanish since I was in 5th grade) because these are things I have always been known for excelling at.

In the past 3 years, no one has asked me what I want to do with my life. My aunt and uncle are both engineers, and have instilled the notion that being an engineer is the best thing for me to do because I’m good at math and science and can make a ton of money. One of their friends told their children that they can study whatever they want, after they get an engineering degree. Why? Because engineering makes you the most money.

Why don’t they ask us that when we grow up? Why don’t they ask us what we want to do when we’re choosing our college or university? Why is it, that we’re so obsessed with money and how much we will make? When did making money earn a spot above being happy and enjoying our job?

People tell me what I need to do. I couldn’t decide on a major, so I just said international business so I could put something down on my applications. I never wanted to do business, everyone around me wanted me to. Because I would make money.

Now that I have changed universities, and majors, everyone around me wants me to major in chemical engineering. Why? Because I will be a woman engineer, will get first priority on jobs, and will make money.

Since when did society decide that how much money we make in our lives is more important than how we live our lives? I never wanted to major in business. And I don’t want to major in engineering now. So, what do I do? Do I major in something that makes me happy, maybe never get a job in that field? Or do I live a miserable life of an engineer and have all the money I could ever need?

I’m not too much of a sap but I do believe that we’re here for a reason. We were not born to work 40 hours a week just to be miserable and then go home and be too tired and aggravated with our lives to be happy around our loved ones. Not saying my aunt and uncle aren’t happy. They get ample time off, sabbaticals, and have so much money that they go on multiple cruises every year.

But, why can’t I do that while doing something I love? I don’t want to have kids, hell I might not even get married. I just want it to be my dogs, maybe a goat, and myself. I want a nice house of course, and a nice car, but at the end of the day, when I’m on my deathbed, looking back on my life, am I going to remember the audi and the million dollar house that I had, or am I going to remember my job, where I spent most of my waking hours, my friends and colleagues that I met at that job, and all of the experiences outside of my house?

Shit, I want to do something I love, but the second I said I even considered switching my major to biology and them getting my masters in marine biology, my parents couldn’t have said the words “what about chemical engineering” faster. Why? They just want me to make money and be successful.

When did we define success as how much money you make at the end of the day? Why can’t success be something less materialistic? Why can’t we define success as something worth living for, something great? Something like how many friends I had, how many new places I visited, how much I enjoy my job? Why is success just money and power? When did we all agree that this is what society is going to be, and, why wasn’t I a part of this conversation?

So, what do I want to be when I grow up? Since I’ve started blogging, I have rekindled my love for writing. I love writing, being able to put all of my feelings down on paper, or on the blogosphere. It’s calming and I love seeing how my writing has progressed through time. I love animals. I would love to live on a farm with rehab animals and just help them escape lives of abuse, violence, etc. I would have farm animals, house animals, exotic animals, anything really. I would love, cherish, and care for each and every one of them. I love design. Over the summer. My life is a nonstop HGTV marathon. I love critiquing, agreeing and adding my own opinions on what I would do with each house, room, etc. I love yearbook. My entire highschool career was centered around my school’s yearbook, and although it may have caused me to turn gray early, I loved that class and I can’t imagine my life without it. And, now that I am not active in my school’s yearbook, I miss it. I love the mind. My entire life has been filled with mental illnesses and trying to understand the mind, why can’t I try to help others understand their minds as I have been trying to understand my own?If I could do any one of these things with my life, it would be grand. But, STEM is the way of the future and despite what you want/ like to do with your life, none of it matters if you can’t make money.

Everyone always tells you to never major in journalism, communications, psychology, philosophy. Basically nothing in the school of arts and letters. Major in business, major in STEM. Why? We need people in those fields, or else that major wouldn’t exist. We need biologists, we need therapists, we need writers, we need designers. Why can it be the other person. Why can’t it be me?

So, here we are. I spent countless nights crying myself to sleep because of how stressed I was, how stressed I was because I couldn’t find a major that suited me. And now, here we are, staring blankly at my ceiling wondering why I couldn’t have just picked something I enjoyed all along.

Talk to you all soon,

Alicia

The Top 100 Inspirational Weight Loss Bloggers

Published on May 17, 2016June 25, 2016 by AliciaLeave a comment

Hi, everyone. Look at me double posting. My life update post will be up in the next few days, however, I was checking my stats page this morning and saw that I had a lot of viewers that were referred to my blog by DietToGo.

Curious as to how that was, I clicked the link in my stats and was brought here

I immediately noticed that the post was entitled “The Top 100 Inspirational Weight Loss Bloggers You’ve Probably Never Heard Of (Until Now)” and got super stoked because people have noticed I exist and they think I’m decently cool.

Your girl (me) was lucky enough to score spot #13 on that list (happens to be my favorite number too) and I’m just so happy/stoked/honored to be put on this list with so many other amazing bloggers.

So, I recommend everyone check out DietToGo’s post and check out all of the other amazing bloggers who are also featured on the list. I know I did!

Anyway, I want to say again how excited I am that I was featured and want to thank Caitlin (author of the post) for taking the time to hand select my blog and to read some of my posts. It means so much

Talk to you all soon,

Alicia

To my brother…

Published on May 16, 2016May 27, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

It’s 12:04 am. I retreated to my bed over an hour ago, after receiving this news. I’m laying in bed, thinking of you. I won’t be getting to sleep anytime soon, no matter how long I count sheep or how long I paint pictures of us on my ceiling. I just stare at the ceiling, thinking of you.

It’s funny, isn’t it? How we think we know so much, but in reality we know so little? For my entire 19 years in this planet, It’s been my sister and I, well at least since she was born. I never knew you existed until today. Intriguing, right? I always thought the whole long lost sibling concept kept its place in the box of the television, but here I am, finding out after 19 years of life, I’ve had this older brother all along, and had no idea.

Everyone else knew. Well, not everyone. However, almost all of the adults I spend ample time with knew, yet somehow my sister and I were kept in this bubble of unknowingness for so long.

We sat there, my sister and I, mouths agape, as my our mom told us about you. Our half-brother, who grew up less than 45 minutes from where we live, and somehow we had no idea you existed.

12:09 now. I’m numb, still cozy in bed, still thinking about you. You know I exist, you’ve seen pictures of me. What do you think of me? Did you want two sisters? I always wanted an older brother. I nagged constantly to my mom that I wished I had been born second and that I had an older brother. And I do.

My Our mom showed me your instagram today. You look almost identical to my uncle, Jim, so I know we’re related. You’re my brother. I have a brother. Sorry if I keep saying that. Truth is, the facts haven’t sunk in yet.

As many times as scroll through your pictures, trying to absorb as much as I can through those square photos of your friends, family and 2 cats, I can’t wrap my head around it. How did I not know? How did I not know I had a brother? I have a brother.

12:12 and I’m upright, still trying to process how this happened. How you exist. How I never knew. How everyone kept this a secret from my sister and I for so long. Neither of us can. How did you never come up in conversation? How did your name never slip out?

I want to cry, buy why? What’s the point? I have a brother, and I didn’t know. I think it’s because I always wanted one. I always wanted a brother to look up to, to show me the ropes, to make sure no one picked on me, make sure mom and dad never gave me too hard of a time.

You were 11 when I was born. You had no idea I existed then. That my mom existed. You lived less than 40 minutes away from me but we had no idea. Crazy.

My mom told my sister and I about 6 hours ago now. We were in the living room, I was checking twitter and my sister was eating. She said she had something to tell us that she didn’t know how to say.

Immediately thinking the worst, I assumed someone had died. But really, someone was born, not really but born into my world, anyway.

There isn’t much to say about you. I don’t know you… I may never. I know nothing about you, but you’re my brother.

You were born on June 22nd, 1986 at 2:13 am. Your name is Evan. You have 2 cats. You live in Los Angeles. And I hope you want to meet me. I really do. Because you have two younger sisters that want to meet their big brother.

I love you already, even if you don’t know it yet.
Alicia

P.S. Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, with finals and getting home a few days ago and then this news I haven’t had much time to do anything.

It hit me today

Published on May 1, 2016February 1, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

My high school’s prom was Friday night. As I scroll through instagram post after instagram post, admiring all of my friends’ magnificent flowing gowns and pinned back hair, I came to the realization that that will never be me again. My days of prom, homecoming, and turnabout dress shopping are long over. Now, I shop for dresses for weddings, formals, etc. I realized today that I am no longer a student of my high school, I am in college and my high school days are long gone.

People say you never know when it will hit you. The fact that you’ll probably never see these people again. That graduation night is the last night you will all be together. People say it doesn’t hit you on graduation night. You may cry, but you’re only crying because your mom and grandma are crying. It might hit you when you say goodbye to your best friends. After spending countless hours with them over summer, trying to squeeze every last memory you possibly can in with them until you part ways for 4 months. It might hit you when you pack up your entire life into suitcases, boxes, backpacks. When your room looks foreign to you because of how barren it is. It might even hit you when your parents leave you, alone, in your dorm. When you’re left alone with a roommate that you’ve only spoken to via Facebook chat exchanging social medias and what each of you will bring.

For me, it happened in bursts. Saying goodbye to my friends, I cried. I knew we would be different people when I saw them next. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that. It hit me when my sister had her first day of school and I was still in bed, because I didn’t leave for another week. It hit me, the night before I left. After leaving a friend’s house I drove around my town, driving up and down every street, passing my high school countless times, absorbing every last image of that town I had come to love. I cried. I drove around, listened to old songs and cried. I wasn’t ready and at the same time I was. I wasn’t ready to move on, but I knew that I had to. Saying goodbye to my family, I cried. I wouldn’t see them until family weekend, and I knew I would be different by that time. They weren’t ready for that. It hit me when I came home for winter break, and my room wasn’t my room. It was a bed and a desk where I would spend weeks at a time. But it wasn’t mine anymore. It was mine for so long, but not anymore. I cried my first night home. How no matter how long I lived in that house, how I knew every nook and cranny of that 3 story building, it wasn’t my house anymore. It was a place to vacation, before heading back to my new home- San Diego. My family wasn’t ready for the day that I called San Diego home. I see the hurt expression on my mom’s face every time I say, “I can’t believe I go home in ____ days.” I don’t mean to offend anyone, but it has become my home.

What no one told me is that it would hit me, a year later, scrolling through instagram and checking snapchat stories. No one told me I would miss that school. That school I dreaded going to every morning, would be a place I longed to visit one last time. I could tell you every hallway, every room number, every teacher, all of my friend’s locker numbers, the bell schedule every day of the week. No one told me I would miss it. No one told me that passing by it every break, I would lose a little piece of my high school self.

I hated high school but I loved it all the same. I hated 8am calculus but I loved the teachers and all the students. I hated the smell of the lunchroom but I loved that everyone gathered together for a time of relaxation. What no one told me is that despite how many events I went to, I wished I could eat just one more lunchroom cookie, attend just one more Shenanigans show, or basketball game.

Personally, I think I did high school pretty well. I played 4 different sports and participated in at least one of those every year. I was on yearbook: editor in chief, business editor, and design editor. I was part of my student government. Junior class president for a year, and executive board treasurer the next. I took AP classes and studied hard, trying to make good grades, and I had a pretty great group of friends.

Some days I wish I could do high school all over again. Be more outgoing, join different and more clubs, try out for a sport I never played my freshman year, and just redo high school knowing everything I know now.

But that’s not what high school is. High school is supposed to be big and scary. Walking into the new and inviting school painted blue and white with faces cheering and clapping for you is what it’s all about. Walking in with your best friends and out with your best friends is what high school is. Making mistakes, growing up, learning, crying, enjoying the new and foreign experiences. That’s what I did in high school.

Yes, I’ll never have the chance to go to my senior year homecoming that I missed, and I’ll never be able to go to another prom, but I did high school how you’re supposed to. I lived, I learned, and most importantly I grew into the woman I am today. I’ll never step foot into that school again as a student, but because of that school, I have blossomed into the brilliant woman that I am today.
Until next time.

Alicia

To my ex-best friend (The Queen),

Published on April 17, 2016October 14, 2016 by AliciaLeave a comment

Each time I see people sharing links with this title on facebook, I immediately think of you. I click on the link quickly, trying to see if their relationship was anything like ours. If their ending was anything like ours. It never is. Upon reading at least ten of them not one of them is relatable to how we stopped being friends. I like to think it’s because our friendship was unlike any other, so if it had to end, it would unlike any other as well.

Where does one even begin? At one point in my life, you were there for everything. From my bad days, my good days, and everything in between. You stuck by me through my awkward days and how you did that I have no idea and truly can’t thank you enough.

I had never had a friend like you until I met you and I don’t think I’ll ever have someone to compare to you after the years of friendship that we had. For years, I told you everything. I told you every minuscule detail about my life. From each boy I was in love with that week, to what so-and-so said about me. Everything. That’s what best friends do; they tell each other everything, the good and the bad. From how I aced my test or that it didn’t look like you had brushed your hair this month. And that’s just what we did.

We had our weddings planned out. We’d be each other’s maid of honors. Not telling our sister yet of course 😉 We spent almost every waking second together. You’d picked bridesmaids dresses to ensure that they were a color I would look good in. We had our lives planned out together. After graduating from college we were moving to Hoboken in a small apartment waiting to find true love and high paying jobs.

I will never forget the day I met you in 6th grade in Science class. You know I’m not much for believing in fate, but we were both in the process of losing best friends. I’d like to think we entered each other’s lives to lessen this burden and to take on the best friend title. I will never forget how you came to my house in 7th grade, and we took photo booth pictures together with my sister. Or in eighth grade when you came over on the snow day and we built such a pathetic snowman, but it was great because I made it with my best friend. I will never forget our summer bucket list blog and how we tried cramming the last 30 items on the list into 3 days. I will cherish those memories forever.

I want to thank you. I want to thank you for being my rock and my best friend. I want to thank you for always believing in me and helping me achieve my goals, one baseball pun at a time. I want to thank you for being the best friend I have ever had, and probably ever will. You have given all of my friends, present and future, such high expectations to meet, even if they don’t know it yet.

I want to thank you for opening up your home and for letting me befriend your entire family, even if I was always afraid of your dad. When I saw your dog died on facebook, I cried. Calby was such a sweetie, and while he was no Gracie, he was still a cute pup. When I saw your mom got diagnosed with cancer, I cried and I called my mom. I knew I had to text you. I knew it wouldn’t matter to you that I did, but she was my second mom for so many years, and I wanted to make sure you were both okay. I just want to thank you for impacting such a stressful and amazing time of my life, for the good and for the bad.

I also want to say that I’m sorry. I know we’ll never be friends again and I’m not saying that’s what I want. We’re different people than we were junior year.

I’m sorry we ended the way we did. Everyone says that friendships end because they drifted apart or they were too different. We weren’t different or drifting apart. We were basically the same person (other than the fact that I wore sweatpants every day and you wore dresses) and we were spending even more time together than usual. We starting hating each other, slowly and then all at once, the tension in every room we were in could be cut with a knife. We had more bad days than good days and I couldn’t take it. But I couldn’t tell you that. I hate discussing feelings (something I’ve improved upon since we stopped talking). We were both too afraid of feelings and confrontation that we avoided each other until our only way of communication was through letters and our friends acting as carrier pigeons.

Now remember, I have nothing against you, and I want to say that the time being your best friend were some of the best years of my life. I wish you nothing but the best in life, whether I’m in it to some extent or not is fine by me. I just wanted to for once in my life being open with my feelings (like you always told me to be) even if it is 2 years late.

Much love and summer fun
(Princess) Alicia (Jane Catherine) Heninger

P.S. the turtle I named after you died. Thought you should know

20 tips for freshmen attending San Diego State University next year

Published on April 10, 2016June 25, 2016 by AliciaLeave a comment

Hi everyone, my best friend from home came to San Diego this weekend to visit a few colleges before the deadline to decide on a college for the next 4 years, May 1st. She still hasn’t decided and is between Pepperdine University in Malibu and the University of Indianapolis. Obviously I hope she picks Pepperdine so she’ll be closer to me but obviously I hope she chooses the place that is best for her. So, for those of you people who know that you’ll be attending SDSU in the fall, here are some tips for all of you to survive, Hope they help. 🙂

Even though San Diego is the stereotypical Sunny and 75 all the time, pack sweaters and bring an umbrella. YOU WILL NEED THEM BOTH.
While some people think that Greek Life is a huge deal at State, don’t feel pressured into rushing. There are so many great people who don’t rush and are just fine. Greek life isn’t for everyone.
Just because Greek life isn’t for everyone, it doesn’t make it ok to put it down. They did nothing to you and making people feel bad about something they enjoy is rude.
Be social and put yourself out there, I didn’t my first semester and I missed out on so many friendship opportunities
That being said, don’t worry if you haven’t found ‘your group’ after the first month… or even the first semester.
This is going to sound super cliche, but get involved. That’s the only way you will meet people with your interests. I’m good friends with people on my floor but my closest friends came from getting involved.
Don’t forget about your friends back home. They know you better than anyone you meet at school. And they’ll be there when you have to rant about your new friends.
While going home is great every once in a while, don’t go home every weekend. You miss a lot.
Don’t be afraid to go to professor’s office hours. You will need letters of recommendation at some point, and professors are more likely to write better letters (instead of a cookie cutter version) on students they know.
GO TO CLASS. It doesn’t matter if professors say class isn’t mandatory/don’t take attendance, or whether they post all of their lecture slides on Blackboard. If you want an A in the class, you have to go. Missing one or two classes a semester won’t kill you but don’t turn into the kid who just shows up for exams.
The Turtle pond is one of the best places on campus. You can look at all of the turtles and fish or you can just sit on the grass to relax or study Bonus! If you get sunburnt easily like me, there is all kinds of shade for you
Don’t feel restricted to campus. Go out and explore. Whether you go to Sunset Cliffs or just to Normal Heights, take in all San Diego has to offer.
Go to Sporting events. Whether it’s a basketball or swim meet. Every Aztec has so much spirit and we support all of our sports teams.
Do not bring a coffee maker to the dorms. They are not allowed and you will get in trouble if you are caught with one. Also, Starbucks (3 campus locations) and BCB (5 campus locations) are on the meal plan.
Utilize the Storm Hall terrace. It’s my favorite spot on campus to get homework done and the view of the sunset there is always impeccable.
Go to the Farmer’s Market on Thursdays. It’s a nice change from dorm food, and even though it’s not on the meal plan, it’s completely worth it. There is food that ranges from Western Africa to gluten free desserts… Something to satisfy everyone’s taste buds.
Don’t wait until 9:30 to go to the market to spend your meal plan money. You will wait for a really long time (I waited once for half an hour) and if the line is long you won’t be let inside. So, here is when your umbrellas and sweaters come in handy.
Cuic isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s good the first few weeks, but you will get sick of it
Speaking of Cuic, when it comes to meal plans, Flex 7 is the way to go. On Meals Plus you will have so many Cuic swipes at the end of the semester you will end up wasting your parents money and bringing your entire floor to dinner there.
Remember, when Hepner hall looks really good because of the angle of the Sun, snap that picture. No one will judge you. We all do it. Who doesn’t want to brag to all of their Instagram followers that they go to the prettiest school in the country?
my photo

Hope these tips helped you, and for those of you still deciding on a college, good luck and stay true to your hearts (and wallets)

Talk to you Thursday

Alicia

Rainy Days

Published on April 7, 2016February 1, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

Rainy days in California are rare, and almost nonexistent.However, upon checking the forecast for the upcoming week and seeing the raindrops dance across my screen, I can’t help but smile as my roommate grimaces at the thought.

The days leading up to the what Californians may call ‘gloomy’ day, are days of anticipation for me. It’s like the week before going home before a break or before a holiday.

Coming from a place where rain was not necessarily an everyday occurrence, but sure occurred more than most would like, to a place where rain has fallen from the sky about fie times in the past eight months, you cannot help but miss rain: the scent, the air before and after it rains, the calming noise it makes as it hits windows, trees, the glow it gives everything it graces.

Rain reminds me of home. At least once a week, winter spring summer or fall, rain washes over our city. With rain brings a new beginning. It washes away the snow of winter, brings flowers to life in spring, washes away chalk drawings of summer, and pushes the crunchy fall leaves down the road.

My midwest self had become so accustomed to the rain that the absence of it saddens me. Never did I think a day would come that I missed rain. But waking up to the pitter patter of raindrops on my ajar window and the cool breeze entering through my window,gives me a sensation that I can’t quite describe.

As the rain hits my mesh covered window, and the occasional drop pecking my face, I hum in admiration. Rain is different here. As sunny and 75 days are rare in Chicago, rainy days in California are just as rare. I admire the both of them equally. While Californians proclaim their hatred of rain, with the knowledge of drought in the back of their minds, they can;t help but smile at the necessity of rain and the thirst of the earth being quenched. Even if this just happens once a month.

Everyone says that rain makes them sad. How can you be sad when the earth is being given the beautiful gift of water to make the plants grow bigger, the snails emerge from they long hibernation, and the hope that a rainbow could peak out behind the clouds after it has rained all day?

I’m not sure how rain saddens people, but I am sure of one thing. Rain doesn’t sadden me. Thunder on the other hand…

Until Thursday
Alicia

Appreciating Home

Published on April 5, 2016October 14, 2016 by AliciaLeave a comment

Many apologies for the lack of posts the last week. I had planned on blogging at home, but I was too busy seeing my friends, family, trying not to die ( curse my sister for infecting me with sickness). I was thinking that yeah, i did have free time to blog, times when I was watching Fixer Upper or Finding Carter on TV and not doing anything necessarily productive. However, due to the fact that I attend college 2064 miles from home, I need to appreciate the time I have at home and not waste it away on things I can be doing anywhere.

I didn’t notice this so much over winter break, since I was home for a little over a month. But Spring break flew by. I had so little time to see everyone, do everything, and still manage to catch up on all of the sleep I had been lacking.

10 days. 10 days to do so many things. From celebrating Easter, to dog-sitting, to seeing all of my high school friends, community college friends, and friends with coinciding spring breaks, to a wedding, and seeing my city and all of the new tourist garbage I could take in n such a short time. Not to mention, catch up on all of my recorded TV shows, inhale as many fruits as I could, and try to beat the playstation Spyro game. Do all of that in 10 days? And still blog? No.

Coming home for Spring break has made me cherish all that is home. It makes me cherish every moment I spend with my sister, dog, friend, family member. I think that’s what love most about going to school so far from home. Before going off to school, I never had a good relationship with my family. My dog was my favorite family member. She still is, but I get along so much better with my family now. It’s a nice feeling, being at peace with my family. We don’t fight as much anymore. We both know that I’m only home for 4 months of the year and we don’t want to waste that time arguing.

I cherish my friends. I know that one day we don’t all live in Chicago suburbs or even Illinois for that matter, and that alone has left me thinking. We go to school across the country and don’t get the same weekend sleepovers and pool parties whenever we want. We all work in the summer and if finding time to see each other is hard now, it will only get harder.

I have learned to appreciate time with others. At school there are people around me constantly, and finding a peaceful hour or two alone to really get productive is difficult. However, at home, I will squeeze in time with any friend. You’re free for that hour and a half that I’m free? Ok, let’s get brunch.

Well, 6 weeks until my first year of college. Wish me luck

Talk to you Thursday

Alicia

She

Published on March 27, 2016February 1, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

The feeling is one of an indescribable measure. How can you describe something where you feel so much but so little at the same time?

She washes over me a like a wave, engulfing me like a flame, bringing me down with her into that dark abyss. I can’t go back I tell her, I’ve come so far from where I once was. She doesn’t listen to me, she never does. I can never escape her, no matter how hard I try. She will always continue her chase. I try to run away but she takes my hand and drags me back down, farther back, deeper than I had ever been before.

I’m taking one step forward and five steps back. As I put on my mask of happiness for the day to cover the empty feeling writhing inside my very core, it’s back to my daily ritual. Masking my sorrow with a mask that looks almost as fake as it feels.

We all carry on with our days. People pass me by and I can’t help but wonder if they don masks too. What are they hiding? I can’t tell if I have mastered the art of hiding behind this pasted on mask or if no one cares enough to see that I’m falling apart behind it.

It’s obviously the latter she tells me. As the razor glides across my skin I look at myself and all I see is her. How did I get to this point? How did I let her envelop my very being, my entire self?

It has been years of struggle. Of letting her take me to rock bottom. This is the better life she assured me. I’m the only one who cares about you, she reiterates for the hundredth night in a row. As she caresses me every night in bed as I cry to her and tell her of my struggle, she is the only one who listens to me. She understands me, the only one who understands me. At a certain point, I start to agree with her. Maybe she’s right. Maybe she’s the only one who cares for me, understands me, loves me.

But how could that be? People say they love me. She tells me they are lying. That they feel bad for me. That she is the only one who truly cares. Day after day, I debate with what is right. Do I let her continue to love and cherish me, or do I try to get rid of her? How can I get rid of something that seems so natural, so needed. Maybe she needs me and I need her. That’s what she tells me anyway. That the two of us were went to be. And maybe she’s right.

Years of me trying to take control. Trying to loosen the grip she has on my life. Loosen the grip she has held for years. It works sometimes. Sometimes I can pry her long slender fingers from my arm and get free for a period of time. But, no matter what I do, she always finds a way. She weasels her way back into my life. She creeps up on me when I least expect it. And she seizes me again. After I writhe in pain at her touch for a while, it becomes the norm again. She has done it again, gotten me under her spell, and despite my protests and cries for help, no one can hear me and she has total and complete control over me and my entire being.

Until next time,
Alicia