Tag: self love challenge

What is the most loving thing you’ve ever done for yourself?

I think the most loving thing I have ever done for myself is probably either dropping a bad friend or just giving myself a break.

My junior year of high school and a few other occasions  I’ve discovered some of my friends were not people I wanted in my life and over time I was able to drop them. Dropping negative people isn’t a hard thing to do anymore, however, in high school.. it was. Being constantly around the same people for 40 or so hours a week along with extracurriculars and being in the same friend groups… it’s hard. However… with perseverance, grit, and some very well crafted notes (looking back on this it was so childish… but whatever works I guess) some very negative people were out of my life.

I remarked yesterday or the day before that I used to be all go go go constantly and that really drained me. I think something that was very loving was realizing that I physically couldn’t do so many things and needed to reevaluate and choose to do what I loved AND had the time for.

What have you guys done that is loving for yourselves?

What are you afraid to ask for? What do you need to speak up about?

Something I’m always afraid to ask for is help. Whether it’s for directions, school, or otherwise I hate asking for help. I always feel like I can do everything myself and while that’s a great thing to believe, it’s just not practical. I’m one of those people who constantly take on new projects, always wanting to help others until I physically can’t put anything else on my plate. I don’t like letting others down, so I’ll skimp out on homework or studying for an exam to get everything I promised done. Ever since being in Ohio, I’m trying to do less. I get to focus on school and myself a whole lot more while still helping others as best I can. It’s hard not being go go go like I have been in the past but it’s always nice to just stop and relax every once in a while.

Something I need to speak up about is probably when others hurt (not physically) me. I can be a bit of a pushover when it comes to certain people and certain topics and I end up letting people walk all over me. This actually happened yesterday (haha typical) and I always get frustrated with the outcome of these situations even though it’s really my fault that the outcome happened. I need to be able to say no and let others know how I feel because there’s a huge chance that some of them don’t know they’re taking advantage of me.

What do you all need to speak up about and ask for?

Alicia

What would your younger self be proud of you for today?

This one has been by far the hardest prompt for me to do, or even think about. I don’t like thinking about my younger self often because she was constantly bullied, had bad friends (some good, but a lot of bad), a lot of mental issues, a bad body-image, and a very dreary outlook on life.

All throughout middle school (but the end of elementary and early high school) my life sort of sucked. All of this pent up negativity in my life led me to be a very mean person, who hated everyone.

So, I think my younger self would be proud of me cutting the bad people out of my life, even if it took a couple years to do it. She would be proud of me for standing up for myself and not letting people walk all over me. She would be proud of me for seeking help for numerous things I was too afraid to do so for in the past.

My younger self would be proud of me for a lot of things, however, I think the thing she would be the proudest of for is for taking care of myself and putting myself first. I  work my hardest to be myself and be proud of it and for (almost) always loving who I am. Being kind to myself, body and mind had been a constant struggle for me for years and I’m getting better at it day by day. I am nicer to myself (and others) now and it is something I strive to improve upon each and every day moving forward

Alicia

Take a selfie. Just as you are. Find one thing to love about it

If I’m being honest, there are many things about this photo I could critique. From my tired eyes to my slept in hair, to my flushed red skin. However, upon first glance at this photo, the only thing I saw was my smile. My usual fake meh smile was replaced with a genuinely happy smile, that only comes around once in a blue moon.

I got back to school today, and after the treacherous 7-hour drive, a trip to Walmart, and unloading the car, I was alone, tired, and had so much work to do, yet I was still smiling. I’m smiling because even after 4 hours of sleep, eating garbage food all day, and sitting for 7 hours, I’m in one of my favorite places on the planet and nothing can put a damper on that.

What things make you feel happy to be alive?

1. My dog
2. The smell after it rains
3. Freshly washed sheets
4. Getting into bed right after a shower, with shaven legs and a big t-shirt
5. The smell of the flower section at Trader Joe’s
6. Freshly brewed coffee
7. The feeling of the sun on your skin when you’ve been inside for a while.
8. Crossing things off of checklists
9. Drinking lemonade in the summer
10. Not having to get out of the bed in the morning
11. Getting complimented
12. When I reach my Fitbit step goal for the day
13. Taking a nap after a long day at work
14. Pay Day
15. Reorganizing something that desperately needed it
16. Finally finishing cleaning my room
17. Cooking
18. When I get home from somewhere and my dog is the first one to greet me
19. Fresh fruit and vegetables
20. Walking barefoot in the grass
21. Singing along to a song in the car
22. Sunrises
23. Sunsets
24. The sound of the Ocean
25. The smell of the Ocean
26. Baby goats
27. Baby pigs
28. Really any animal let’s be honest
29. Waking up in the middle of the night and realizing you have more time to sleep
30. The cold side of the pillow
31. Wearing a new outfit
32. The sound of an ice cream truck
33. Feeling confident
34. Having an all around good day
35. Getting a text from someone you haven’t talked to in a while
36. Dairy-free ice cream
37. Getting a day off of work
38. Printed photographs
39. Scrapbooks
40. Getting new shoes
41. Getting my nails done
42. Getting a haircut… that I actually don’t hate
43. Hanging out with friends for the first time in a while
44. Writing
45. Museums
46. Getting flashed a smile from a stranger
47. Listening to a band’s new album for the first time
48. Early morning when all you hear are birds chirping
49. The color blue
50. Bookstores
51. Volunteering
52. Small towns
53. Crunchy leaves
54. My favorite pair of jeans
55. When people use the correct form of ‘your’
56. Taking my shoes/bra off after a long day
57. Candles
58. No dirty dishes in the sink
59. Making lists
60. Playing cards with a big group of people
61. Coloring Books
62. HGTV
63. Disney movies
64. Seeing pictures people took of me doing things when I didn’t know I was being photographed
65. My smooth skin after shaving my legs
66. The smell of my shampoo
67. Office supply stores
68. Notebooks
69. Stargazer Lilies
70. Murals
71. Potatoes
72. Cobblestones streets
73. Rainbows
74. Stickers
75. Living on my own

What things make you guys happy to be alive?

Alicia

How would you describe yourself in a loving way to a stranger?

Hmm, this is a tough one for me. I never liked describing myself, looks or personality for anyone… but here it goes. As loving as it gets for me at the moment

On the outside, I’m that awkward height that’s not short but not tall. It’s not a bad height, pretty decent. I’ve got blonde-ish hair that is at least 4 different shades and is pretty long and gets almost white in the summer. I have a bunch of different dimples that are visible depending on the face I’m making. They’re one of my favorite parts of my face. My eyes are a cool blue-grey color, but change to grey, blue, and blue-green, depending on my shirt color and the lighting. I always think its cool how they change colors.  I have 4 tattoos and, yes there are more to come and yes I love all of them.

On the inside, I’m typically a very kind individual, but I can have an attitude, but who doesn’t sometimes?. My sense of humor is 100% sarcasm and there is a 27599% chance that I’m usually kidding. I’m a very goofy human who loves making other people laugh. I also love doing things to help better the world, like volunteering, helping those in need, and I want to be a teacher so I obviously want to better the generations ahead.

 How can you set better boundaries in your life?

I’ve never been one to set boundaries well, in fear of backing down on them or hurting others but a friend of mine and I recently had a conversation about boundary setting so I’ll post her tips for this one.

1. When you identify the need to set a boundary, do it clearly, calmly, and in as few words as possible. Do not justify, apologize for, or rationalize the boundary you are setting. Just set the boundary calmly, firmly, clearly, and respectfully.
2. After setting your boundaries, you are in no way responsible for how others react to the said boundary. Do not back down on it just to make others happy.
3. If you feel selfish or guilty about your new boundary, that’s okay. Keep strong with your boundaries.
4. Most people are willing to respect your boundaries, but some are not. Be prepared for this and never back down.
5. Setting boundaries can and will take time. Be patient
6. Develop a support system of those who support your boundaries and keep them close.

How do you all set boundaries in your lives??

Alicia

What’s something in your life that you need to get rid of?

Something I NEED  to get rid of (but is SO SO SO hard to do) is negativity. I feel like everyone has quite a bit of negativity accompanying them, due to stress, our government, work, etc. However, I feel like mine is a bit more internal.

I want to be one of those girls who is filled with sunshine and rainbows, but instead, I’m filled with self-deprecating humor and past trauma.

It’s so hard, especially when it comes to loving myself, body and mind, not to be negative. However, I’m not actively trying to remove it from my life. I’ll sometimes just be like “haha I have no friends,” “why am I ugly” or “I’m a failure.”

I really want to try to live a more positive life but I really don’t know what to do or how to start. How do you guys try to maintain positive and keep the negativity in your lives at a low?

Until tomorrow

Alicia

Where in your life do you need to slow down & take your time?

I think my whole self at school needs to slow down. I am constantly go go go, going to events, class, the gym, work, doing homework, and making time to be social can be a lot. I sometimes forget to relax.

In San Diego, I relaxed too much, so my grades suffered so I made it a mission that when I came to Ohio I wouldn’t let the same thing happen. In all of this studying and making friends and everything else, I forgot to take my time and slow down a bit. This entire semester I watched maybe 30 hours of Netflix. I know this seems trivial, but I watched at least 5 times that in San Diego.

This semester, my goal is to create a balance. I need a balance of school, work, social, and downtime. I always seem to have 1 or 2 of the three, but never all of them and I’m really going to try to create a balance of them all, no matter how long it takes.

Name a thing you love about your body and your personality

This one also proved very hard for me to come up with. Something I love about my personality is my sense of humor. I am very sarcastic which can be taken wrong but it usually works in my favor. My sense of humor has always been a way for me to make friends/ make small talk or first conversations less awkward. People also always remark on my sense of humor and that they think I’m funny so it’s nice that others appreciate something that I love as well!

Something I love about my body is my hair. It’s soft and long and like 7 different colors which makes it look super cool when braided. I know that I sometimes complain about how it doesn’t hold a curl and how it’s so straight but at the end of the day, I’d take straight soft hair over a bunch of tangles and frizz.

What do you all love about yourselves??

Alicia

What do you need to forgive yourself for?

This is one that I’ve deemed quite difficult to come up with.  I’m not too sure how much this has to do with self-love but it is something I need to forgive myself for nonetheless.

Almost 8 years ago my grandma was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. We would drive down to my grandparents’ house every Sunday we could from the time she was diagnosed to the time she died, to get as much time with her as we could, however, at the time, I was unaware that this was why we frequented their house.

It was June, and we were having a party to celebrate the birthdays of myself, and my 2 cousins, whose birthdays are all within 2 weeks of each other. When it was time to go, we said our goodbyes and were heading out. I had already hopped in the car, buckled up, and was listening to some music on my iPod, when my dad came to the car and told me to say goodbye to my grandma.  I assured him that I’d done it already, yet he forced (harsh term but that’s how  I felt in the moment) me to go back inside and say goodbye again.

I sulked my way through the house to the back porch to where my grandma was sitting, lazily side hugged her, mumbled goodbye, and sulked back through the house to return to my seat awaiting me in the car.

It’s funny to me, at the time I thought I’d have thousands of more hugs from her, if not more, and that this one time wouldn’t be one of the last. Yet sitting here now, there isn’t one thing I wish I could do more than to hug her one last time.

I know this is something I may never forgive myself for, even though I need to. However, getting this out in the open is one step closer to forgiving myself, so all we can do it hope.

Until tomorrow

Alicia

What is something you need to start saying yes to?

Something I need to start saying yes to is hanging out with friends. Or more importantly not saying no.

I am one of those people who agrees to see people and then cancels last minute. However, later on, I feel bad about not seeing them and being alone and I wallow in self-pity.

I always get really anxious before hanging out with people (even my best friends haha no clue why) and I need to suffer through that little anxiety and see the ones I love or could start to love if I stopped bailing on them.

Until tomorrow

Alicia

What is a compliment that you struggle to accept about yourself?

A compliment that I always struggle to accept is that I’m pretty. Whenever people tell me that I’m pretty, I always brush it off with an “oh haha thanks.”

Everyone has an ugly phase, and mine started around 2nd grade and I’m not sure it ever really ended.  I endured years of bullying for how I looked, how I dressed, and how I acted. Naturally, my self-esteem took a turn for the worst and whenever anyone has ever complimented my outward appearance I’ve felt as though it were out of pity, even if they truly meant it.

That is one of the reasons I am doing this challenge. Self-love is a hard concept for me as I have created a life of self-hatred that stemmed from all of this hatred towards me from other people and due to this, I have never truly loved myself. Self-love is a life-long and challenging journey that we all must go through, and I’m really hoping that this challenge is the kickstart I need for a life of self-love for me and everyone else who reads this blog. 🙂

Until tomorrow

Alicia

What good habit do you want to begin this month?

A habit that I want to begin this month is drinking 64oz of water or more daily. Water is so important to our bodies to function and have so many benefits other than keeping us alive and I’m really crappy getting enough of it. I’ve been trying to drink enough water and marking my cups I’ve had on a whiteboard in my bedroom.

I’ve read that it takes 21 days to make a habit, so I put this little sheet blow on what I filled out for my goal of drinking water. I’ve used it in the past ad highly recommend it if any of you want to make a habit or 2 as well!

What is your habit you want to start this month?

Alicia