Category: Other

Oh look, another election post

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Nov. 10: Did you celebrate or commemorate your divorce or a significant breakup? Would you ever?

I can honestly say that I have never done this, never plan on doing this, nor did I think anyone did this. I don’t have much to say on this topic as I have not been divorced or had major breakups. My last breakup I laugh at a lot but I don’t celebrate it.

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I do just want to say something about the election again. I know, I know.  Enough about this election. But this is so important for not only the United States but the entire world as well. America does so much trade and business and we are involved with so many countries across the globe.

I am from America and I stayed up until 130 when they finally announced that Trump had won. Hearing the phrase “President Trump” was tear-inducing, gut-wrenching, and absolutely heartbreaking. I never knew America had so much hatred and ignorance in it. People are killing themselves, men are boasting about grabbing women by the pussy, there are riots and protests across the entire country, Muslim women are afraid to leave the house wearing their hijab, and people are drawing swastikas and hanging black mannequins all over the country. Trump isn’t even inaugurated yet and people have done this. It has been less than 2 days and we have experienced this. If this is any indication of what the next 4 years are like, I fear for this country.

No Hillary wasn’t perfect, but there should have been no competition between the racist, homophobic, sexist, islamophobic and a woman who devoted her entire life trying to make a difference in this country.

I wrote this about my feelings. So many people who believe that Donald Trump is not a good fit posted Hillary, MLK Jr, Rupi Kaur, and other quotes followed by captions filled with their feelings. Reading these inspired to write my own.

I am at a loss for words. Tuesday night will be etched in my mind forever and ever. As I sat on the couch, sobbing, watching as the states continued to turn blue and red. As the electoral continued to add up for a man who is not fit to run this country. As the gap between one of the most devoted women in the entire nation and a man who took up politics as a hobby continued to grow, I became numb. I am still completely numb to all of this but somewhere in the void my body is in, there is anger, hatred, and fear. I am angry at the people who voted for the third party.  I hate people who thought he was a good fit for president and I fear for the future of our nation.I know one thing for sure. We cannot stop. We have made so much progress in the move towards equality in the last 8 years and we cannot let this man end that march for us. We have to stand together and we cannot stop fighting. We have so much ass to kick so let’s get to kicking.

Alicia

Thank you and I’m sorry

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Nov. 9: What do you want to say to Hillary Clinton today?

It is with a heavy heart that I write this post. I stayed up all night waiting, watching, crying, getting hopeful, and then crying again. I am numb and have completely dissociated from everything. Donald Trump won the presidency. People keep calling him President trump and I keep pinching myself hoping to wake up from this nightmare America has become. I had planned on writing this post as a congratulatory, and now, just the opposite.

Hillary, to sum everything I want to say to you in one sentence it is: Thank you and I am sorry.

Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for persevering for women, families, people of color, the LGBTQIA+ community, and other minorities. You have given us so much hope. Thank you. Thank you for giving me the hope to have a woman president. I never thought I would see the day that there was a possibility to say “My president is a woman.” While it may not be you, you have shown women that they can do anything they want. Thank you for devoting your life to making America a country worth living in. I know not everyone liked you from the start, and I know not everyone likes you now, but you devoted your entire life to this country, and not many people (including our next president) can say they did that. Thank you for putting up with your opponent, the media, the citizens of this country. All people do is give you hate for those emails. We get it. They happened. Every politician, every person makes big mistakes and yours have been drug out long enough. You aren’t being taken to court for rape charges, but you are being investigated for deleting emails about your lunch order. Thank you for being the bigger person. Thank you for empowering so many women and minorities to dream big. People fail and you can still get back on your feet and try again. Thank you for trying. Thank you for never quitting on America. Thank you for never quitting on me.

I am sorry. I am sorry you lost. I am sorry you devoted your whole life to a country that is filled with hate, intolerance, ignorance, and a lack of morals. I am so sorry everyone got your hopes up on this election and you still lost. I am sorry you lost the election to  a man who took politics up as a hobby 18 months ago. I am sorry you worked your ass off the past 18 months only to have been defeated by a Cheeto. I am sorry the media always puts you down and will say anything to get the negative attention off of Trump. I am sorry you will never be President Clinton (unless you run again) I am sorry that your children, grandchildren, and all the children of this country will never be able to call you president Clinton. I am sorry that I hated you at first. I didn’t hate you per say, but I agreed with whatever Bernie supporters said about you because I wanted Bernie. You are just as if not more qualified than him. I am sorry that so many people did the same. I am sorry that the actions of people around you from 20 years ago are more dictating of a person than what someone said in the past week. I am sorry that we failed you. I am sorry that all of your hard work didn’t pay off in the end. I am sorry.

With tears staining my cheeks and keyboard, and a much needed hot shower and cup of tea on the way, I must sign off. Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton, thank you for believing in America and trying to help us and I am so deeply sorry we did not accept your help.

Alicia

Mystery Blogger Award

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Hi everyone, so Allie made a blog post about receiving the Mystery Blogger Award and she nominated everyone whose name begins with a vowel. Last time I checked, the letter A is a vowel so I figured, why not do this? Also a huge shoutout to Okoto Enigma for creating this award. 🙂

THE RULES:

Put the award logo/image on your blog.

List the rules.

Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog!

Mention the creator of the award and provide a link to their blog as well.

Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.

You have to nominate 10-20 people.

Notify each of your nominees by commenting on their blog.

Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify).

Share your link to your best post(s).

3 things about myself:

  1. I am a huge sports fan. Like honestly I will watch any sport anytime. I mainly follow Chicago teams but I also really like the Knicks because my husband (Joakim Noah) got traded from the Bulls so now I have to keep up with him.
  2. I never had braces and I still don’t have glasses. Everyone always get o jealous of me for not having either but it’s just really normal for me.
  3. I still play the Kim Kardashian game. I’m not even a fan of any of the Kardashians or Jenners the game is just really addicting.

So Allie didn’t do the 5 questions part so I’m going to answer the 5 questions of the blog who nominated her.

  1. If you could switch lives with one famous person for one day each year, who would you choose and why? I think I would pick like a Youtuber, specifically a beauty guru. Like MannyMUA or something because he gets to do what he loves (if bomb at doing makeup too!!), is given so many amazing opportunities, and gets to travel the world. Who wouldn’t want that???
  2. What would be the best present you could find under your tree this year? Th is always the most annoying question. I never know what I want for Christmas. If I had to pick something right off the bat, I would really love (I am so lame I know) something from Magnolia Farms. If you guys have ever hear of the show ‘Fixer Upper’ on HGTV, that is their store. I want like a cute hat or shirt or something. I am so lame but it’s whatever.
  3. Let’s say you just won the lottery and you are now the richest person in the world. What are the first 3 things you’re going to do? I feel sort of bad for saying this but the first thing I would do is take care of myself and my family. Like I would make sure all of our college is paid for, we all have cars, houses, and are well taken care of. The next thing i would do is put a good amount of it in the bank just in case something happens. I would need to make sure I was always well off if i lost a job or just in case of emergencies. The final thing i would do it volunteer. I would go to Africa, Asia, South America and give my time and money to those who are less fortunate than I am. I would probably start a charity or some schools for underprivileged children in  3rd world countries.
  4. What’s your personal opinion of social media? It’s good to some extent but like I have blogged about many times, there are flaws and it can create monsters.
  5. Weird question, if you had to lose all senses except for one, which would you keep? I think I would keep my sight. To me personally it it the most important. I could still write and read since I can’t hear. And I can still see the things I cannot feel or taste or smell so when it comes to food I could still be conscious of what I am putting in my body and of things around me.

Now for my 5 questions

  1. If you could travel to one country in the entire world, which would it be?
  2. What was the last lie you told? Why did you tell it?
  3. What was your first when you woke up this morning?
  4. What can instantly cheer you up, no matter what?
  5. Weird: Would you be willing to eat a bowl of cockroaches for $40,000?

Alright now for the people I nominate

Enette

Mia

Alana

Lu

Mie

Jenn

Tay

Gina

Alexandra

Inspired Teen

Obviously none of you have to do this if you don’t want but I thought it was a fun thing to do.

Until later for my NaBloPoMo post

Alicia

Put the past behind you

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Nov. 8: If you could redo one moment in your life, what would it be and why? How would it change who you are now?

Happy election day. I’m honestly quite surprised that this prompt isn’t about the election. I’m also quite relieved.Yes, your girl woke up at 5:45 this morning, voted, and went back to sleep. I hope all of you (American citizens of course) have voted, are on your way to voting, or are planning on voting before the polls close. Just remember that the polls are useless information unless you go out and vote. I am honestly so happy that the election is here because I can’t wait to stop hearing about everyone’s political view for the new 3-3.5 years.

Onto the topic at hand. I read this question and was at a loss. I don’t really think there is a single thing I would change about my life.

Why is that you may ask? Well, for the first time in a very very long time, I am happy with who I am as a person. I am happy with myself, the people I am surrounded with, life in general.  Yes, I have made mistakes, I have said some things I shouldn’t said, done some things I shouldn’t have, but at the end of the day, I am happy with who I am today. Had I chose to do something different with my life like not send that risky text message, not end that relationship, etc, I wouldn’t be the same person I am today.

I feel that so many people live their lives filled with regret and I hate that. People always say that life is short. I used to say that. But it really isn’t. It’s the longest thing we’ll ever do. Living is the longest thing we will do, ever. We need to make the most of the 90 or however many years we have on this planet and not worry about what we would do differently but rather how the things we did in our past made us who we are today.

How if I didn’t end that friendship I never would’ve become so close with my current best friend. If I didn’t send that text message I never would have had my first boyfriend.

We spend too much of our lives thinking “What if…” when we should be focusing on coming to terms with our past self, facing the consequences of our actions and moving on.

Until tomorrow

Alicia

P.S. GO VOTE IF YOU HAVEN’T PLEASE.

Food Fails

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Nov. 7: What was your worst Thanksgiving food fail?

Being only 19, I’ve never really cooked a Thanksgiving meal. I have helped with vegetables and things of that nature, however never done a whole meal. So, this food fail I’m going to be talking about actually occurred around Thanksgiving but wasn’t technically Thanksgiving food.

My junior year of high school, I was on crutches for about 5 weeks because I had injured my knee (to this day my doctor, orthopedic surgeon, and physical therapist have no idea what actually happened to my knee but it persists in giving me occasional pain). In my high school, when you are on crutches, in a wheelchair,etc. You are allowed to leave 5 minutes early from class with a friend so you can avoid all the hallway traffic.

There are 7 periods in a day so I had 7 different people bringing me to and from classes. While they enjoyed getting out of class 5 minutes earlier, after a while it was annoying lugging around 2 backpacks.

Basically, I decided to be a nice cripple and make everyone chocolate chip cookies. Over Thanksgiving break, I was able to hobble myself into the kitchen, find the biggest bowl we had and start a heaping 4 batches of cookies. Due to this insane amount of cookies being produced, I had pre measured every ingredient out so I didn’t miscalculate something later.

As I had finished mixing the ingredients and was ready to put the first 24 cookies in the oven, I remarked at how the cookies seemed a little darker than normal. I decided to ignore that fact and put them straight in the over.

15 minutes or however long later, I pulled the cookies out of the oven and was shocked to see piles of chocolate chips surrounded by burnt sugar. I immediately called my mom in to see what I had done wrong. She said I must not have put enough flour in the dough mix.

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Looking around for a measuring cup to put the right amount of flour for the remaining cookies, I found the 8 cups of flour in the enormous measuring cup hidden behind my kitchen mixer.

I then asked my mom how many cups of flour I should put in the remaining mix. She had forgotten the amount I was baking and told me the amount I should put had I been making a normal amount of cookies. Not knowing this, I followed her instructions, put the flour in, and placed the next 24 cookies in the oven, hoping for better results.

After the next 15 minutes passed, I excitedly opened the oven to see perfect cookies! Just kidding, I saw the same as before only the burnt sugar was a mixture of  burnt sugar and a hint of flour.

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Completely defeated and not knowing how much flour I would have to put in now, I dumped out the cookie dough, washed my dishes, restocked my ingredients, and made an entire new batch. 4 hours and 3 tries later, I had 100 cookies ready for my friends, family, and myself of course to enjoy.

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P.S. It has been 3 years and I still have not lived this down.

 

Here are the prompts for this week if you are following along 🙂

Nov. 7: What was your worst Thanksgiving food fail?

Nov. 8: If you could redo one moment in your life, what would it be and why? How would it change who you are now?

Nov. 9: What do you want to say to Hillary Clinton today?

Nov. 10: Did you celebrate or commemorate your divorce or a significant breakup? Would you ever?

Nov. 11: What are five funny (but real) things your current relationship has taught you?

Let Them Celebrate

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If you saw my post about the Cubs winning the World Series, then you can probably imagine that I am still ecstatic about the win. Friday morning was the parade celebrating the end of the 108-year drought here in Wrigleyville. I wasn’t in attendance because it was honestly an anxiety attack waiting to happen. There were anywhere from 5-6 million people in attendance and despite how much I wanted to go, I would rather not start hyperventilating in the middle of millions of people and I also had a concert that night and knew I would be up super late anyway (people starting leaving their homes at 5am for a parade that didn’t start until 11)

Anyway, I have seen so many people complaining that all of these people celebrating aren’t true Cubs fans. I have seen tweets and facebook posts, and received texts and so on and so on saying “Are you really a cubs fan if you don’t remember Starlin Castro, Ryan Dempster, and Sammy Sosa” “I remember the first time I ever saw the ivy, do you?” “so many people are bandwagoning the cubs and it’s not fair” etc, etc.

LET THEM CELEBRATE. Yes, I remember all of those players, I remember other players that weren’t as ‘good’ or ‘popular’ as Sosa and Castro. I don’t remember the first time I saw the Ivy because I wasn’t even a year old. People are bandwagoning because they are Chicago fans. If the Cubs hadn’t made it that far and the Sox had, you know damn well we’d all be rooting for the Sox. LET THEM CELEBRATE.

I have been a Cubs fan my entire life and the fact that basically the entire state of Illinois has banded together with the Cubs is so amazing. For so long the Cubs had been one of the worst teams in the MLB and it has taken us 108 years to get on top. Let people celebrate. Let die-hard Sox fans buy Cubs gear and cheer them on after they won. Let people who don’t know how many positions there are in baseball celebrate. The Cubs winning has created such a sense of community for this entire state and hating people who bandwagoned isn’t impacting anyone but yourself. The entire city of Chicago is colored Red, White, and Blue for this team and if the entire state of Illinois wants to celebrate, let them.

What happiness means to me

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To me, happiness is such an arbitrary term. It differs for everyone. To me, happiness is sitting alone in a coffee shop, typing away at my computer, letting the intoxicating aroma of the grounds fill my nostrils. Happiness is feeling a crisp autumn breeze blow against my face as the smells of cinnamon, vanilla, and pumpkin dance around me. Happiness is seeing goats. Happiness is receiving a package in the mail, just waiting to be unwrapped. Happiness is getting my nails painted a new color, and tapping my freshly painted fingers on every surface I find.Happiness is seeing a dog, its tail wagging as it rushes their owner to my side so it can sniff me as I pet its head, even just for a moment. Happiness is when I can perfectly apply my liquid lipstick… the first time. Happiness is a tattoo parlor. The wheels in my brain get to turning thinking of all of the ink I want on my skin. Happiness is seeing a band in concert, my cheeks flushing and my heart beating along with the amp as I realize that the people before my eyes are indeed real. This is happiness for me, what is it for you?

Brand New World

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Nov. 4: Which fall shows should totally be canceled already?

Ok, BlogHer, what the hell is this? With Netflix, hulu, on demand, and my DVR, how does anyone know which shows are fall shows anymore? I just record stuff and then watch it months later and go on with my life. So, I have no clue which fall shows there are and which ones should be cancelled. If I don’t like them… I don’t watch them… end of story.

Okay, good talk. Anyway, now I am going to talk about what I actually want to write about.

My dad’s co-worker is from Germany and she immigrated from Germany to the United States 30 ish years ago. Her niece is in town from Germany, and Heike (my dad’s coworker) asked me if I would take Neele, her niece, and show her Chicago and all of its glory. We went yesterday and it was really fun and while I was able to teach Neele about Chicago and American culture, I learned just as much about Germany and its culture. .

I drove with my dad to work (tbt to those working days at the factory) and Neele drove with Heike. We then took the train downtown from the station by their work. Neele was telling me that where she lives in Germany, and most of Europe, the tallest buildings are nowhere near as high as the skyscrapers littering the Chicago lakeshore. In her town, the tallest building is student living at the nearby university and it is only 8 stories tall. The Sears Tower… has 110 stories.

When you are on the train, for the most part you just drive through suburbs and see graffiti marking the path of the metra. However, on the final turn as we approach Union Station, the skyline is in perfect view. Every beautiful building that makes Chicago such a remarkable city is in sight and the Sears Tower sits above all the others, basking in all of its glory. Neele’s jaw drops and the only words she can get past her lips are “Oh my god.” A long list of oh my gods to be specific.

Growing up here, it’s just Chicago. The Sears Tower, the Hancock, the Lake, etc. It’s normal for me to have it at my fingertips. But for Neele to never having seen buildings like this, she was in awe.

Upon dodging commuters and their pre-coffee attitudes, we made our way out onto Wacker drive, the same Wacker Drive that the Sears Tower is placed. As Neele takes in her surroundings, I tell her to look up and once again she is speechless. Yes, the buildings look unimaginably tall when you’re far away but being right next to the tallest building on the Western Hemisphere is surreal.

After admiring all of the buildings I took her to the Shedd Aquarium and the Field Museum. They are right next to each other and complete tourist hubs. Unless of course you go on a weekend, then it’s field trip city (yes I know from experience).

The Shedd is very cool in that, the fish, amphibians, reptiles, etc. are sorted by their natural location on the world. As we walked through all of the exhibits to the Great Lakes region (Chicago and the midwest area) she was amazed that these creatures lived in the depths of lakes and so close to where she was staying. Upon seeing the alligator snapping turtle that could easily rip off a person’s hand with its bird of prey like beak, she once again was at a loss for words.

The Field museum was decent, we were pretty tired because she was jet lagged still and I got no sleep after the world Series win last night, so we sort of just glanced around and then visited a really cool exhibit about tattoos which we both enjoyed.

All in all, Neele is super sweet and I think we’ll take another trip downtown, explore a bit more and such. I also learned that people outside of America think that Americans are Trump-loving, Twinkie-eating, rednecks. Seriously. Neele’s friends instructed her that she had to bring twinkies back so everyone could try them. I think I have eaten a single twinkie in my entire life.

Until tomorrow,

Alicia

P.S. Normally I would have taken loads of pictures but we were so captivated by each other and all we had to say the only time I pulled my phone out was to get an uber and to have my dad pick us up from the train station.

 

Don’t bite your tongue

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Nov. 3: If you could be completely honest with no regrets, what would you say and to whom?

As I read this prompt, I really couldn’t think of all that many people. I mean, yeah I have had to bite my tongue on occasion instead of saying something I would regret later, but honestly, not that many. I have decided to write to a general population instead of just like my friend so and so or whatever. So yeah, let’s do this.

To Trump Supporters: You are all idiots. The fact that you want to elect this complete idiot for president is absurd and outrages me as not only an American citizen, but as a woman, as a Black Lives Matter Support, as an LGBTQ supporter, as a lower-middle-class citizen. A man who is going to court in the next few weeks for CHILD RAPE, a man who has said you can do anything to a woman, even “grabbing her by the pussy,” a man who is a complete racist asshole and A MAN WHO HAS EVEN SAID THAT REPUBLICANS ARE STUPID AND WILL LISTEN TO WHATEVER LIES ARE THROWN THEIR WAY… Yes he said that. While this election hasn’t changed my views on who can be president, it has changed the way I look at any human who has the audacity to publicly support this candidate.

To people who hate on other people for being ‘basic:’ Okay, I have been called a ‘basic bitch’ more times than I can count. Just because I like fall, and Starbucks, and I wear leggings, and listen to pop music doesn’t make me any less of a person than you. Fall is a cool season, so are all the other ones (not summer because humidity and hot). Starbucks is good, Dunkin is good, coffee and tea and frilly drinks are GOOD. LEGGINGS ARE COMFORTABLE. They’re like sweatpants but less ugly so while you talk shit about my leggings, I’ll leave all the fucks I give in the pocket of my jeans I don’t wear. I listen to pop music. I also listen to alternative music. It’s called pop because it’s popular. HATING THINGS OTHER PEOPLE DO DOESN’T MAKE YOU COOL. IT MAKES YOU AN ASSHOLE.

To every person that has ever been a bitch to me: I hate all three of you and I hope you rot in non-existent hell.

Until tomorrow,

Alicia

CUBS ARE THE WORLD SERIES CHAMPS

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Hi everyone, it is currently midnight and I am alive and crying and as happy as I have ever been. But THE CUBS JUST WON THE 2016 WORLD SERIES.

I have to be up in less than 6 hours and I’m exhausted, BUT I AM SO HAPPy

The Cubs won and I am crying, my family is crying, the entire team is crying and I am so happy.

It has been 108 years since they won and we are going to party like it’s 1908 baby. Congrats to the Cubbies and to all of the fans. We have waited so long to see this and I am still in hysterics. We danced around the house yelling and crying and being happy. I love life and I love the Cubs

Hey Chicago, whaddya say? THE CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES TODAY

I love my city and I love my team.

Alicia

Bravery

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NaBloPoMo Day 2: When was the last time you did something brave? What happened?

For as long as I can remember, I have never been a quitter. I mean, I have quit things (who hasn’t) but not when quitting directly affects someone besides myself. My senior year, I quit water polo (due to my job and my knee) but it was out of my hands (the knee part) and I quit very early on in the season before anything was set in stone about starters and positions and things like that. It’s not that I have a problem saying no in general, per say, but once I am invested in something, I do tend to have a more difficult time getting the word “no” to leave my mouth.

If you’ve followed my blog for at least the past two weeks, you may have read my post about me quitting my nannying job. I feel like a broken record saying this but I feel me quitting was very brave of me, especially considering it is not something I do usually, or ever for that matter.

For the first time ever, I was able to stand up for myself when I wasn’t being treated properly and was able to make it out of a toxic environment before it got too crazy. Standing up for myself and being able to tell someone that enough I enough is not something I’m typically comfortable with and the fact that I did it shows great bravery, in my opinion.

While I am out of a job right now, getting away from that one is more important than the $13 an hour I was getting

Until tomorrow

Alicia

NaBloPoMo Day 1

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Nov 1st Prompt: When you’re having a bad day with your mental health, what do you do to help yourself?

This is actually a funny topic (not funny per say more like ironic) because I’ve actually been having a bad mental health couple of days recently and have done just about everything I know possible to help myself mentally.

Whenever I think of having a bad mental day, the only thing I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep all day. That’s nice to do every once in awhile, but when you have bad mental days as often as I do, it’s just not realistic.

The first thing I do is shower, or take a bath. Whenever I have a bad mental day, I typically cannot feel anything. I am basically the embodiment of an emotional void and the only thing that helps is feeling the warmth on my skin as the water cascades down my body. The cool air as I step out of the shower, and the same cold yet soothing feeling as I soothe lotion all over my body.

Once I’m soft and clean, I put on my comfiest pair of pajamas, twist my hair in a bun, and write. I write about my emptiness, I write about how I want to feel, I write about things that make me feel, anything. I listen to classical music to keep me calm and get my creative juices flowing.

While I write, I prepare some tea (Earl Grey is my personal fave). While my body still can’t feel emotion, the scalding tea reminds me that I do in fact, exist, and I’m alive. Just simply holding the mug, and letting the heat radiate onto my fingers, reminds me to feel.

I sometimes do other things like bake, work out, etc, but what I mentioned above is the gist of what I do most often. See you tomorrow

Alicia

P.S. For everyone who wants to blog along… Here are the prompts for the week

Nov 1: When you’re having a bad day with your mental health, what do you do to help yourself?

Nov. 2: When was the last time you did something brave? What happened?

Nov. 3: If you could be completely honest with no regrets, what would you say and to whom?

Nov. 4: Which fall shows should totally be canceled already?

Nov 5: Free Write

Nov 6: Free Write

National Blog Posting Month

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Hi everyone,

In an attempt to become more consistent in my posting and from seeing a ton of blogs do this last year, I am going to be participating in National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo).

For those of you who don’t know what that is, November is in fact National Blog Posting Month. A few years back, someone created the hashtag #NaBloPoMo and more recently, BlogHer took it over. BlogHer creates prompts for each weekday (weekends are free writes) to get people motivated to write every day during the month of November. You don’t have to use every prompt as they are there for just guidance and to get the writing juices flowing. The prompts will be posted every week (according to BlogHer’s twitter) so I will post them here as they become available or you can check out BlogHer’s website for the prompts.

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I encourage everone to join in on this with me as in the past, the prompts have been very versatile and it’s very interesting seeing each blog’s take on certain prompts.

Until tomorrow

Alicia

Cancer

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Hi everyone, sorry this is so late but I wanted to write something and between working and trying to watch the Cubs game I forgot all about it.

As many of you know, October is breast cancer awareness month. This post is about cancer, not breast cancer, though.

6 years ago today (October 19th, 2010) my grandma passed away from Stage 4 lung cancer. I was only in 8th grade at the time and I am so devastated that I missed out on living so much of my life without the amazing woman she was. I have changed so much since eighth grade and I know she would be proud all that I’ve accomplished since then.

I first remember my dad coming into my bedroom earlier that year (March), telling me that she was sick. We sat and cried on my bed until there were no more tears to cry.

Next, I remember going to visit her every weekend that we could until she died, watching her slowly deteriorate before all of our eyes, everyone knowing but keeping quiet about it and only talking about how amazing she was doing.

The worst part about it was, I remember not cherishing the short amount of time I had left with her. I always thought she would get better and everything would go back being like old times. I remember ( and still hate myself for this to this day) her forgetting I had said goodbye to her already so my dad made me get out of the car to say goodbye again. I sulked into the house, quickly hugged her, mumbled goodbye and blew past everyone visiting back into my car. Looking back on it I would give anything to say goodbye to her again.

Upon getting home from a school trip to Washington D.C, my dad wasn’t home (with my grandma) and my mom broke the news to me that she wouldn’t make it much longer and we were going the next morning to see her and say goodbye. She didn’t wake up the next morning. When my dad got home and told us, we cried together for the second time.

Despite all of these sad moments, they aren’t the things I remember most about her. I remember her introducing me to the movie ‘Miss Congeniality” and watching it every time I would spend the night at her house. How that movie also became my favorite overtime. I remember that I stayed at her house for 2 weeks one summer and I got to watch old movies, garden, make woven potholders (a lot cooler than it sounds), make jewelry, and eat cake for breakfast with her.

What I’m trying to say is that cancer is a horrible disease and takes so many people away each day. Please remember, today and every day, tell your loved ones you love them because you never know when it could be the last time you tell them. I love and miss you Grampatty

Alicia

light

Published on by AliciaLeave a comment

A goal of mine for as long as I can remember is to exude light. To be as radiant as humanly possible. Like those girls in the movies, whose aura matches her best friends in the back seats who drive around town with their windows down, music blasting into every wandering set of ears they pass.

Over the past 19 years of my life, I’ve come to the conclusion that this idea only exists in movies, that this goal is not something I can possible achieve, and no matter how hard I try, I will in this constant state of longing for this feeling I cannot have.

Despite this conclusion, my mind always wanders to why I can never achieve this. These radiant people I rarely come across of hear about seem so carefree and ethereal, and here I am, just the opposite. Why can’t i be like them? What did they have that I didn’t?

We are the same yet different, the same just under different circumstances. We both face the hardships this world puts on us, yet I just see them in this state, this unworldly state.They make the best of their circumstances, why can’t i make the best of mine?

When I choose to look beyond the hardships I face, beyond all of my obligations, and just focus on things that make me euphoric, I begin to realize,  I emanated light this whole time.