Christmas Lights Rant

Hi everyone, since being the design editor and EIC of my high school yearbook for three years, I know a wee bit about design. I scan through magazines, catalogs, houses, anything I can, and mindlessly critique things based on every design rule I have ever learned. Christmas lights are no exception to my critiquing. To each his own, obviously, however, some people fail to follow very simple Christmas decorating rules that I (and almost everyone else I associate myself with) seem to know. It’s almost an untold Christmas Lights rulebook, and those who break those rules are subject to my wrath, and probably any other passer-Byers as well.

The rules go as follows:

  1. No mixing of colored lights and white lights.
  2. No mixing of new white lights and old white lights: While they are both advertised as white, we all know they should be sold as “Yellow snow” and “blue purple white”… we knowcomparing-white-led-christmas-lights
  3. Keep in lowkey with the flashing lights, we don’t want any seizures: The twinkling icicles are okay, but when your neighbor has like strobe Christmas lights, it makes me want to cut their circuit breaker.43252-flashing-christmas-light
  4. Don’t overkill with the blow-ups: They look dead and sad during the day and if you have 5 different Santas, it’s a bit much.

    i will not enter your house if it resembles this
  5. Keep the bulbs the same(ish) size: Having teeny bulbs mixed with baseball sized bulbs looks obnoxious and just doesn’t flow.
  6. Do not mix Jesus Christmas with Hallmark Christmas: Having a nativity scene next to Rudolph…? Why? Usually the people who make this mistake are the ones whose profile pictures are a picture of Jesus surrounded by Cursive lettering saying “Remember the reason for the season.” Pick one. Jesus or Santa, not both,

    note lifesize santa on porch
  7. If you for some reason must use old and new lights or white and colored. DO NOT….I repeat DO NOT switch lines on the middle of a bush, tree, etc.: Ugh, not many people mess up this much, but I saw one house near me that did it and I almost vomited.
  8. Take your decoration down by January 15th: I don’t care if it’s blizzarding outside or -30 degrees, take them down. Winter decor is fine, but when you have Santa and his sleigh outside your house on Easter, people will either think you’re very lazy, or very prompt.

Obviously everyone can do their own thing, but from a design aspect and an aesthetic standpoint, if you do these, you are horrible. Make your lights and decorations flow and keep the palette pleasing. Until tomorrow


2 thoughts on “Christmas Lights Rant

  1. HA I love this! Your critique on the lights are soooo true, I find it so tacky when people mix white lights with colored ones….like WHY! Just choose one! The blow ups one made me laugh, some people really over do it like who even has time for all of that lol. I love your honesty in all of this and I can’t help but to agree with everything! Very entertaining read!

    xo, JJ

    Liked by 1 person

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