love yourself – Page 3 – Living off Leesh

31 days of self-love challenge: Day 2

Published on January 2, 2018May 27, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

Afternoon everyone, I’m back again for the 31 days of self-love challenge. Here is Day 2!

Get rid of a limiting belief that you have about your abilities

The phrase “I can’t” is a staple in my vocabulary. I use it day in and day out, whether it relates to running the extra mile at the gym, finishing homework, or being home on time. If there is a task that is even a slight inconvenience to me, I can’t do it.

Obviously, I can do most of the things I can do, I just say that I can’t.

There’s a quote from Confucious that says, “He who says he can and he who says he can’t are both usually right.”

When I say I can’t do something, I won’t and therefore I can’t. However, when I say I can do something, I’m going to try and more likely than not will succeed.

I need to start saying “I can.” There are some things I physically cannot do, yet. Instead of the phrase “I can’t” I want to start saying “I can’t do it yet,” because if I can’t do something today, or even tomorrow, eventually I will be able to say I can.

Alicia

31 days of self love challenge: Day 1

Published on January 1, 2018June 3, 2018 by Alicia11 Comments

Hi everyone, so one of my intentions for the year is to take care of my physical and mental health. A very important aspect of both of those things is self-love. A few months back, I saw this 31 days of self-love challenge. I figured I would kickstart my year and try it because self-love is very important and it’s a great thing to practice. So here’s to 31 days of self-love and much more after that.

Day 1 What is your biggest struggle with loving yourself?

I think my biggest struggle with loving myself is that I am constantly comparing myself to others. And I believe this is an issue for many others. We live in a world where we idolize Instagram models and how many likes other get on pictures so in return we post pictures with filters and funny captions and the best lighting to see who can get the most likes.

I’m trying a bit of a social media detox. I have deleted twitter and facebook from my phone and will probably do the same for Instagram soon as well. I may redownload them when I want to post something or if my roommate says she tagged me in a meme. Social media is a great thing, I’ve discussed it before, we use social media to keep up with friends, keep up with politics around the world, and so much more, but social media is also a very negative thing. We thrive off of likes and comments, and how many followers we have. I think we all need a detox every now and again to remind us what’s really important in life and how superficial likes, filters, and followers really are.

If any of you would like to do the challenge as well, here are all of the prompts for the month. Love yourselves!!!

Dear Body…

Published on March 10, 2016February 1, 2018 by AliciaLeave a comment

Dear body,
You know this already, but I have rekindled my love for exercise and eating healthy and taking care of myself. Due to this, I have also recently realized that all of my years of hating you has taken its toll.

I have spent the past 10 years hating you. I have spent the last 10 years pinching and poking at you, as if my fingers possessed some sort of magic power, granting me the ability to make you smaller and fit society’s ideals. I have spent 10 years hating what I saw in the mirror looking back at me. I have spent the last 10 years telling my mom, dad, friends etc that I did put sunscreen on when in fact I didn’t but I wanted to change the eggshell coating I was given to obtain that longed after sun kissed glow. I have spent 10 years paging through magazines, looking in awe of actresses, singers, Victoria Secret models, and other celebrities near and far, asking myself why don’t you look like them. It has come to my attention that all of this negative energy, and poking, prodding, hating, it has harmed you.

At age 14, I started counting calories. After everyone had told me you were too big, too unhealthy. After my doctor had told me your size had skyrocketed. After people had told me than you needed to be sucked in, hid under clothes, changed, tampered with, etc. Because of all of this, I only allowed 1200 calories for you every day.I did this, hoping to make you smaller, more appealing, more loved, more accepted. When in reality I was harming you, depriving you of all you needed. All you needed to keep me functioning. What I would fill you with was 1200 calories of horrible, processed garbage. I was harming you. I was eating so little and not giving you the proper nutrients for a little girl to grow, flourish, thrive. I was trying to make you smaller, prettier, tanner. I was trying to make you the complete opposite of what you were. I would always leave you wanting more, my stomach grumbling with starvation, and for a while I would not give in.

Alas, these 1200 calorie days were not feasible. So I started bingeing. I would eat a carrot for breakfast. 30 calories for the most important meal of the day. Skipping lunch and then working out trying to burn as many calories as possible. When 3pm hit, and you were sick of being empty, I would fill you with any processed foods I could get my hands on from cookies, cakes, crackers, ice cream… anything to fill up my sad and grumbling stomach. I would do this constantly and then hate myself and you for letting this happen to me.

Everything I would do to you was out of hatred. Every blade to slice open my skin, every suicidal thought, every time I would starve myself to make you more appealing, every time I would binge, was out of hatred to you. When all this time, after all of the years I hated you, you did nothing but love me. You, you were the only one to love me unconditionally after all I had been through. After everything I did to you, you continued to love me.

I never realized all you have done for me. Every day and night for 19 years you have struggles keeping me alive… Struggled keeping me healthy, sane, thriving. Trying so hard to manage on the food I was putting into you, and it was hard. It has been so hard. And I’m so sorry. Every time I put the razor to my skin because I hated you so much, you would also try to fix yourself. Every part of my body adorned with scars show me this. Every time I would starve myself and not eat despite how many times your grumbles crying out for me to eat, you wouldn’t get mad at me. You still love me, despite everything I have done to you.

Every hateful word I have said and every harsh thing I have done to you, you have continued to love me unconditionally and keep me alive on this world. All I Have to say is that I am sorry. I am sorry for harming you. I am sorry for not loving you. I am sorry for not seeing all you have done and continue to do for me.

I am trying, body. I am trying to love you. I am trying to love you and myself. However, it’s been so hard. But I’m working on it. Nothing but good food has entered you since January 16th. My last binge was January 13th. The last time a razor touched you was September 3rd, 2015. I am working, and I am trying. Thank you for not giving up on me, despite all of the times I have given up on you. I love you.

Alicia