Happy Friday everyone, I made it safely back home and am loving relaxing and taking a much-needed break. In my last post, I talked about how this semester has been pretty tough for me, in more ways than one. One of those ways is rejection.

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Rejection is not something I am used to, by any means and until college, I really hadn’t been rejected (other than by boys but I don’t care about them). However, upon entering college rejection is around every corner it seems like.

In high school, when I applied for a leadership position, I got it. When I applied to college, I got accepted to 14 of the 16 schools I applied for. When I wanted good grades, I got them. When I applied for local scholarships, I got every one that I was eligible for. Easy as that.

However, recently, when I want something, really really really want something, bust my ass for it, I sometimes still don’t get it. It’s really humbling really, being rejected. However, it’s also soooo discouraging. Should I not apply for more leadership roles, is studying my butt off for something really worth it if I still don’t succeed? Should I apply for jobs if I most likely won’t get them??

I’ve been at war with myself for some time about this. I keep trying to do things and get experience, however, I keep coming up on the bottom. I’ve been rejected from 4 of the 5 positions I’ve applied for in the last 5 months and I’m almost certain I was one of the only people who applied for the position I actually got. I’m also in the running for 2 things right now so it may be 6/7 but we will have to wait and see.

Seeing that email from the group or place you applied to and having the first word not be “Congratulations!” is always soooo disheartening. You know you were rejected, you still open it and dissect every word from the email like “apply again next year” or “you were such a strong candidate” wondering if they mean that or they’re trying to make you feel better about not giving you the position.

I think the worst part about rejection is you start to hate them. You hate the people that decided your fate, who held your interview, even the person who got your position! You don’t mean to, obviously, but you do. I think it’s more jealousy than hatred, but it appears the same way. You don;t actually hate them and you want them to succeed in the position they’ve taken but you’ve already pictured yourself in that position, created made up scenarios discussing your position, helping others with problems while in that position and so much more that you start to think it’s yours already, until it’s pulled out from underneath you when you thought it was in the palm of your hand.

I’ve decided to do something though. I’ve decided to never stop trying. Fall down 7 times. Stand up 8 kind of thing.

It’s hard to not be envious of those people when you’re in that coulda been position but you have to try. You have to fake it till you make it when it comes to this. Become friends with these people and then you’ll realize that you should have never been envious in the first place.

It’s shitty, rejection is, but in all honesty, there is a reason when you don’t get something and someone else does. Whether they are more qualified, are better at interviewing, or whatever the case may be, but never give up and keep trying because the worst thing you can be told is no.

❤ Alicia ❤