Does What’s on the Inside Truly Matter?

Hi everyone. Look at me a week of keeping up with my post schedule. So proud of myself.

Anyways, something that I have always wondered about is the differentiation of inner and outer beauty and which one truly matters. I have come to realize there are quite a few things in my life that need work/ I need to improve on. Something people always think of when people say they want to fix something is something on the outside ie. needing to lose 20 pounds, wanting to fix their nose, wanting to get toned, etc. I’m already working on those (not the nose one… I think my nose is cute) by going to the gym and eating healthy and vegan and gluten-free whenever possible.

What people never seem to focus on is what is on the inside. We are raised being told it’s what’s on the inside that matters, but is that truly the case? When women in magazines are drop dead gorgeous and photoshopped to hide every flaw and every celebrity looks god/goddess-like wherever they go. In high school, and hell even middle school, the ‘popular crowd’ is always the cream of the crop on the outside. But what about their insides? Let me tell you there are some evil thoughts inside those perfect porcelain walls of theirs. Not that people not in those groups can’t be downright rude and a displeasure to be around, but if they are, they don’t have nearly as many friends if any at all. So, does it really matter what’s on the inside? That’s a question I’ve always wondered. I’ve (almost) always been a nice kid, especially in school ,and have never been considered popular. Popular amongst my group of friends,sure, but not what every kid envisions growing up.

In mean girls (do not judge me for using mean girls as an example.. it was a staple in every girl’s life growing up), Regina George is a horrible person : she bullies people, is so rude to her friends and everyone around her, and cheats on her boyfriend, yet, because she is gorgeous, she is considered a queen (literally… boys carried her outside for gym) I remember growing up and thinking I wanted to be popular, but never wanting to stoop to Regina George’s level to attain that much attention and popularity. So, what truly matters? the outside or the inside? In order to have all of these friends and get likes and favorites on instagram and twitter, do I have to be drop dead gorgeous or just know how to contour so well I look like a completely different person? Is that what it takes? Unfortunately neither of those things are attainable for me, so what now?

Do I succumb to a level of bitchiness with average looks in hope of achieving more friends? Of course not.So, what? I need to step back and look at everyone in my life I do have. Do I want to be friends with those people like Regina George who bully people, or with the people who bullied me? What about those people who are rude to their own friends to make themselves feel better? No, why would I want to be friends with those people, I want to be friends with genuine people and make long lasting quality friendships.

I have spent so much of my life longing to be popular and gorgeous. I have spent my fair share of time wondering if my friends and I were prettier, skinnier, more athletic etc… would we be popular? These things used to keep me up at night. When in the end it really doesn’t matter. My friends and I are beautiful just the way we are. We may not look like Barbie dolls, but we are genuine, kind, loving, caring, intelligent, generous, and just overall amazing human beings. They are there for me at all times during my best and worst times, and I am so thankful for all they do for me. So, the truth is, what’s on the inside does truly matter.

That’s all for today

Talk to you all on Saturday

Alicia

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Tourist in my own city

Hi guys,

With just a little over a week left in Chicago before my 2nd semester at San Diego State, I have realized how fortunate I am to live in 2 of the top 10  largest cities in the United States. I have taken so many photos of my time in San Diego and all the explorations I have done there, yet never realized how amazing Chicago is. So, I’m going to make a nice lil compilation post about my explorations of Chicago since I’ve been home.

There you all have it.. me being a tourist everywhere I go

Talk to you all soon

Alicia

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My Happy Place

Do any of you have a place that you can go and be yourself and just totally relax? I hope you all do. Mine is my bed behind my computer screen blogging, however when I’m in San Diego, it’s a coffee shop in East Village San Diego. It’s called Coffee and Tea Collective and it is literally my favorite place. There is another C&T in North Park San Diego, but it’s always too crowded and too loud for me. Also, the one in East Village shares a space with a juice place called Juice Saves which has a menu filled with juices, kombucha,  and smoothies, which is perfect in San Diego. Typically when I’m at a coffee shop I’m there for hours on end doing homework, writing essays, studying, etc. and I typically eat something from both places.

For all of my San Diego Readers out there or those who happen to end up on my blog, here are some recommendations I have for you

Coffee and Tea Collective

  1. Black Iced Tea
  2. Soy Latte (they do adorable latte art)

Juice Saves

  1. Basic B*tch Smoothie
  2. Any on tap Kombucha they have

From my 4 months of living in SD I have been on a mission to find a safe ad quiet haven for blogging, doing homework, and getting my caffeine fix, and out of the countless coffee shops I have tried, this dynamic duo for sure takes the crown. Hope you all can try it and that you love C&T and Juice Saves as much as I do.

Talk to you all soon

Alicia

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P.S. My picture on the top of my blog was taken at C&T

 

Letter to a Younger Me

Dear Alicia,

You are beautiful. I will tell you this right now. No one will tell you except mom and all of her friends who are obligated to comment sweet things about their awkward teenage daughter because she has commented similar things on their posts with their model children. Have you met the Carey family? Anywho, you are beautiful. I don’t care what all those bullies have/will say, you’re beautiful.

You are an intellect. Everyone is. We’re all just good at different things. You are good at math and science and cannot draw for shit. That’s okay. Art and history aren’t your strong suits. Excel at what you are good at. Meanwhile, the artist and historian will be jealous of all of the amazing things you are accomplishing.

You are spectacular. You are a girl who has a smile to light up the room. Friends and family who cherish you (even when you don’t think they do) and let’s be honest, pretty great hair. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Give no one consent.

Those girls who are being mean to you now will mean nothing in 5 years. When you graduate with honors and they struggle to make it our high school and end up at community college… who really won? Oh yeah, you.

College is your decision. Student loans suck but honestly, going to your dream school that you love and are comfortable at is worth lifelong debt. Never let anyone try to sway your college decision. Go where you want, and study what you want. Also, you don’t need to have your mind made up at the age of 14. Molly thought she did and completely switched. It’s okay to not know.

It’s okay to cry. Cry about grandma, cry about missing the dog, Madi, dad, cry about your favorite TV character dying (you will trust me and you’ll be embarrassed, it’s fine). But do never let stupid people make you cry. (You will, trust me, but never cry in front of them) Don’t let them win.

You will regret cutting yourself. When people ask what’s wrong with your legs, and you have to say you fell, or your dog scratched you, or what have you, it’s embarrassing and sad. You also will still have those scars in college and you will not wear shorts because of them… yes even in California.

Do not kill yourself. People will tell you to kill yourself. People will tell you that killing yourself will not matter and no one will care. People. Will. Care. Trust me. Do not do it. Everyone will be sad and you can’t let those people win. Please don’t do it.

Spend as much time with your friends as you can. Once you all go off to college, scheduling hang outs during break is almost as painful as stepping on a lego. You won’t see everyone you wanted to and not everyone will want to see you. Move on.

That boy doesn’t love you. You may think he does, but he doesn’t. It will hurt, but guess what, his loss, not yours.

Be nice to Madi. She isn’t the worst sister you could have gotten and she deserved to be treated better.

Be kind to Rosie. Cuddle her, play with her, take her on walks. When you go off to college, you will only see her for four months and she is getting older. Just remember that even what she growls, she deep deep deep down does love you (i hope anyways)

Shower everyday. If you aren’t leaving the house… okay I get it. Whatever. But at least wash your face because you will need to.

Wear deodorant. Just do it.

Listen to mom and dad. Sometimes they are right (not always but sometimes)

Don’t be afraid to speak your mind. You have beautiful thoughts and they deserve to be shared with the world. People will listen and you will have enlightened someone on something. Speak up.

Do not be afraid to tell people your favorite movies or bands or books. Even if Shrek, Emperor’s New Groove, Miss Congeniality, Legally Blonde, High School Musical, One Direction, 5 Seconds of Summer, etc. are on there. It’s not just you who loves them.

Do not be afraid to not have plans. Stay in, watch movies and eat popcorn. One day you’ll wish you stayed in more.

Love yourself. This is something we are still working on. Growing up and being a teenager is very hard and going to school with models and beautiful skinny girls is even more rough. Women in magazines are not women in magazines. It’s just fact. Your body type isn’t the same as everyone else’s and your body is not their body and you are not them.

Do not compare yourself to other girls. Because guess what, that girl you idolize probably idolizes someone else too. You are too beautiful, amazing, perfect, and 100% unique to do that. No one looks just like you, so why do you want to look just like someone else? You don’t.

Be yourself. Dress like yourself. Act like yourself. If you have to act fake in front of people, they really aren’t your friends. Be friends with people who you can act like yourself around and keep them close.

I love you. You may not see that now and you may cry yourself to sleep every night because you hate yourself. You may cut yourself because you hate yourself. You may want to kill yourself because you hate yourself. But I love you. I am proud of you. I am proud of you for not killing yourself and stopping hurting yourself. You don’t cry yourself to sleep anymore and I have never been more proud of anyone in my life until now. You are an amazing girl and have accomplished so much in your 18 years on this planet and while there have been ups and downs, you are still here and in one piece. I am proud of you for that.

I love you,

Alicia

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