Hey all, Long time no talk.
I have been so busy this past week finishing essays and doing projects and cramming every second I possibly could with homework so that I would have a break over Thanksgiving, and somehow there is still more to do Not to fret though, I’m back and ready to blog. I will try and queue a few posts to post in the coming week but with finals just around the corner there is no guarantee that I can write every day. I will try to write every day but for the next few weeks there will be pretty much no consistency and I apologize for that. However, I’m doing my best to blog and study and blogging will be a nice break for when I need to take on. I have 4 finals; one for my honors class, one for Spanish, Biology, and my Sociology classes. I have them on December 10th, December 15th, 16th, and 17th and then I go home on December 17th for an entire month. I’m very excited to going home but I was so accustomed to living in the dorm. Having my dad wash my clothes and not having to pay $2 overtime I need to wash clothes, will be an ice luxury, however. I am also very excited that I can see all of my family and friends because I haven’t seen everyone since August 20th and for those of my friends who left for school before me, even earlier than that. However, the 2 things that I am looking forward to the most are sleeping in my own bed in my own room where I can lock he door and jam to songs in my underwear (here you’re never certain when an unsuspecting roommate may walk in) and to see my puppy. My sister sends me videos and pictures of her on occasion however, those will not suffice. I need to snuggle with 100 pounds of fur and slobber and love. Honestly, if I could I would spend the whole month cuddling with her in my bed catching up on TV shows I have missed. But, alas I have friends and family who want to see me and my baby has to take the backseat.
Just a few things to remember in the coming weeks: during Thanksgiving break a majority of my time will be spent with my aunt and uncle, and my friend who goes to school in Phoenix. The rest of the time will be allotted to sleeping and homework, so like I said if I only post once or twice next week, I’m sorry, life is hectic. Then, the week I get home is pretty low key. I have a few presentations to give and a field trip and an essay due but nothing too extreme. All of the hard work will have been done during Thanksgiving Break.The week after that however, is basically hell week. I will be cramming my brain with information I didn’t bother to learn before and rarely leaving the comfort of my bed or the library, unless it’s to pee or eat, sleeping is optional. So, that week and the week following will be very insane due to everything I have to know for my exams, But once December 17th and 10am comes along, I will be free and will be able to blog and sleep, and Netflix, and cuddle, and get myself completely immersed in the Christmas Spirit until my heart is content.
So, that’s my life update,
Talk to you all soon
Alicia
November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month, so I decided to talk about Lung Cancer and how it has affected my life.
For starters, almost everyone in my family (not really but kind of) smokes or has smoked at some point in their life, and i was exposed to a lot of smoking as a child because my dad raced horses and everyone smokes there. My mom has been smoking since high school, my dad’s mom smoked for a long time, my dad’s dad has smoked for at least 40 years, a lot of people who live on my block who I spent every summer night as a child smoked too. Needless to say, a lot of 2nd hand smoke has come my way.
Around January of my 7th grade year, my grandma (dad’s mom) was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. As a 7th grader I always associated cancer with dying, many people do. That night my dad told me was the first of four times I had ever seen my dad cry. After that day, we went every Sunday to visit her and spent the whole day down there. This continued for the rest of the school year and all of summer. Every weekend we could see her getting worse but I couldn’t bring myself to admit that she was dying. Around May she could no longer walk. My family went down to my grandma’s house for my 2 cousin’s graduation (one high school and one middle school). She couldn’t make it to the stands and refused to let people see her in the state she was in, so my grandpa, grandma, sister, and I watched my cousin graduate high school from the backseat of my grandpa’s car. When it came to my cousin’s middle school graduation, she couldn’t even make it out of the house so she and my grandpa stayed home and told her all about it when we got back to the house for cake and presents.
A few weekends later we were back at their house celebrating birthdays. My two cousins have birthdays on May 31st, June 2nd, and my birthday is June 12th. She couldn’t remember that I had hugged her and said goodbye. Being the brat of a 13-year-old I was basically refused to go back and hug her goodbye until I was forced into a hasty and unwanted hug on my half. I always wonder if she remembers this, because I do. And if I could take back one thing in my life it would be throwing a fit because I had to get out of the car and hug my soon to be deceased grandma. As the months passed on she got worse and worse. It was hard watching her have to be changed by my grandpa and seeing her lose hair and barely eat, but we always went. We always sat with her and watched her favorite western movies that we probably could recite to you. We watched them and we told her about our days hundreds of times, because we knew in a few short months or weeks she wouldn’t be there to ask us about our days.
In Mid-October, me and about 30 other 8th graders from my middle school went on a trip to Washington D.C. for the weekend. It was a really great experience and I enjoyed almost every second of it. Upon arriving home, my mom told me that my grandma was doing really bad and would die soon and that we would be traveling down to my grandpa’s the next morning when my dad got back. Well, we didn’t go that morning. Because on October 19th, 2010 at 6:54am my grandma died. She was surrounded by my dad and aunt and grandpa. My dad got home from my grandpa’s house that morning and told me the news and I then saw him cry for the 2nd time ever.
That day, my mom and I went shopping for what I would wear to the funeral just to get my mind off of what had happened. The next day I went to school to get my work for the rest of the week and everyone (kids not teachers) were yelling at me about how I had missed the day before (If more than 3 people missed the day after we got back from DC they claimed they would cancel the trip) and I Had to calmly explain that my grandma died and to shut the hell up but being polite about it.
The next morning, we drove down to my grandpa’s house where the hospice bed my grandma had been in was removed and replaced with her rocking chair she always loved.
The wake was among one of the longest days of my life. I refused to go and look at her because I knew I would break down if I saw her laying there, so peacefully and pain-free. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. i sat in the other room with my mom, sister and cousin and watched as people I had never met came and said how sorry they were for me, and even being surprised by some friends and neighbors who had come to pay their respects. it was so sweet knowing people cared enough to drive an hour and a half just to say they were sorry.
After many long and agonizing hours of waiting for the ceremony to begin, it finally did. I sat there next to my cousins and behind my dad and aunt and listened to the coroner talk about her. I don’t remember a word he said. All i Remember is that my cousin handed me a box of tissues because I was basically wailing in my chair. After the ceremony as I continued to weep, a person to whom I still am unaware of told me “you grandma was a great woman” which I then continued to cry even harder. My eldest cousin and I were definitely the closest to my grandma and were crying the hardest. My dad took us both up to see her one last time. She looked so beautiful and happy. There was no pain, no suffering, and no sadness on her face, Just peace It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.
The woman who had taught me how to make pot holders and other fun crafts, who had made the best chocolate milk in the coolest cups, who had let me eat chocolate frosting, who has let me stay at her house for 2 weeks where all we did was play with her dogs, watch TV, and garden, the woman who knitted beautiful sweaters, who introduced me to my favorite movie, and who loved me unconditionally was gone. My best friend was gone. She never got to see me grow up. I was still in my awkward stage and had yet to blossom into the woman I am today. She never got to see that and that still makes me sad to this day. But I know she’s here. I don’t believe in God, and I know she didn’t towards the end of her life, and I don’t believe in ghosts, but I know she is always with me.
To this day, not a day goes by that I don’t think about my grandma and miss her dearly. This past summer I got a tattoo in memory of her. She loved butterflies so much. She had butterfly puzzles and butterfly trinkets sprawled around her house. I got a tattoo for my best friend and it was the best decision of my life.
Purple ribbon is all cancer awareness but I chose purple and not white because white ink doesn’t work too well.
Happy November. Also known as “Start of the Holiday Season.” People begin prepping for Thanksgiving and then comes Black Friday shopping. Then for students come finals. After that Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and suddenly it’s the New Year and it’s time to start another year all over again. The Holiday Season is such a hustle and bustle of last minute shopping, picture taking, and just a whole lot of celebrating, which is why it’s definitely my favorite time of the year. The joy that promulgates throughout the city and the snow that falls down (in Chicago not here) makes me feel so festive and content with myself and everyone around me.
Living in Sunny San Diego hasn’t really gotten me in the Christmas Spirit because of how warm and well, sunny it is. It’s quite weird to think that 2000 miles away it home, where it’s snowing and cold, and here it’s still sunny and 75. While I’m absolutely in love with this weather here, I have begun to miss the snow and coldness of Chicago. Do I miss shoveling snow and frozen hair? Or the dirty snow that shows after hundreds of cars drive over it or the hidden ice beneath the snow that i seem to be attracted to? Of course not, but snow I believe does bring me closer to feeling festive. But, on December 18th I will be completely immersed in the Holiday spirit when I return home to the cold, dreary, Holiday filled Chicago life.
Nevertheless, every mall and superstore is crawling with Christmas Lights and Santa Claus blowups so I do feel a bit holiday-like.I can’t wait to decorate my dorm walls in lights and everything else Christmas. Especially since my wall of photos fell down in my dorm today. It used to be homey and now there’s just a blank wall. Nonetheless, I will continue singing and dancing to Christmas carols much to my roommate’s and the rest of my floor’s shagrin.
I’ll continue to discuss my love for the Holidays and discuss my Holiday experience.
Unlike most college students, I didn’t go out and party during Halloween. Halloween has never really been a favorite Holiday of mine mainly because I haven’t dressed up since like 6th grade because I’ve either been sick or had practice on the day. So, Halloween has ceased to become a day of importance. I guess people take Halloween very seriously in college because it’s literally a day to be a ‘skanky ho’ as my roommate would say without being judged. I always thought was supposed to be about originality too, but after seeing hundreds of cats, bunnies, angels, and devils, I have become aware that isn’t the case.
Personally I would never dress up in a bra, underwear, and some ears and call that a costume, but if you don’t dress up as that in college, you’re sort of looked down as prudent. I’m not a prude but I don’t want to dress up in nothing just to get the attention of people. That’s only my opinion and I know there are others, but it’s my blog, so I’ll say what I want.
I also didn’t go out because I’m pretty sure I’m getting sick and going out until like 3am and drinking from cups other sick college kids have drunk from is probably a bad idea. My roommate went out while I was in bed doing a mixture of blogging, sleeping, watching Netflix, and blowing my brains into a tissue. Wow love Halloween.
I mean I haven’t been completely unfestive. A few girls and i went to a pumpkin patch a week or two ago and picked some pumpkins (pic on my insta found on the bar to the right) and my roommate and I have also decorated our white board on our door with a ghost, and we have also decorated the room with a few fake spiders and other pumpkins. I enjoy the season of fall, not to seem like a basic white girl, but it’s a nice season. Just not a big fan of Halloween.
That’s just an opinion of mine. What do you all think of Halloween? If you all like it, what did you dress up as?
I apologize for my horrible blog post title, but it grabbed your attention, didn’t it? maybe it was to see if I am as lame as my title and perhaps you’re correct. Well, I suppose the thing to do in all blogs when beginning is to say who I am, what I’m going to talk about, basically the answer to the “how are you?” question that no one wants to hear but always asks anyway.
For starters, my name is Alicia and I am 18 years old. Currently I reside in San Diego, California, however I was born and raised in a little suburb about 10 minutes away from the City of Chicago. I chose to come to San Diego for college and it has been probably the greatest idea of my life. Ever since I had hypothesized about attending a university in California, many people have questioned why. Why would I go to a school over 2000 miles from home and can only see family 3-4 times per year. In complete honesty I felt as though I had to get away; from the toxic people around me, from my parents, and just to start fresh in a new city that I can call mine and no one else’s. Some people are content with living in the same city for their whole lives, and raising a family in their childhood homes and never seeing the world but I’m not. I yearn for the day when I can travel the world and see all the continents and be a tourist and just live life in the moment. And I presume that since college is expensive no matter where you go, I figured I’d start my touring in college, in San Diego.Once I complete undergrad, I hope to go to grad school on the East Coast to further my knowledge of the US.
But enough about my need for travel, I guess I’ll talk about other aspects of my life. I’m a double major in Spanish and ______________. I’m still deciding between business, biology, journalism, and chemical engineering. I also have a minor in Interdisciplinary Studies which I am getting since I am in the Honors College at my school. Some possible career choices that I have are: editor of a magazine, engineer (my aunt and uncle work for Intel so they said they can get me a job), wildlife rehabilitation center worker/ owner, or maybe some random thing may occur where I decide that 8 years of babysitting haven’t exposed me to enough runny noses and crying children and I may decide that I want to teach English to children in Spain.
I am starting this blog because I have decided that I want to change myself. And I feel that the best way to do that id to have a support group of people who will listen and comment about challenges they have faced as well and to give constructive criticism and support along the way. By the title of this blog, you can see that I am a buddhist and a vegan. Well, an aspiring buddhist and vegan. I eat no dairy or gluten at the present moment, however after my roommate made me watch this video, I have decided to change my ways. After seeing what happens to these animals, I realized that I cannot eat them anymore. I also have always wanted to become a buddhist. I don’t believe in God, but I want to believe in myself, which is basically what buddhism is. So, that’s me. I hope to post at least two times a week, but being in college and all, I have zero motivation and zero time, so we’ll see how it goes.
Living off Leesh 