What does your support system look like? How can you make it stronger?

I would say my support system is lacking…. and in more ways than one. I am the type of person who has problems (all kinds actually) but doesn’t like talking about them. I’m like a therapist for all of my friends.. they tell me their problems and I help them through it and they all think I’m the happiest, most carefree person to walk this planet Earth when that’s literally not the case whatsoever. I just hate talking about myself and what I’m going through. I mentioned in one of my past posts for this challenge that I don’t like asking for help and to me, discussing my problems is one in the same.

I’ve had a few (1 actually) friends who I’ve talked about my problems too but that’s because we were both in the same boat and we could relate a lot to each other. However, we haven’t really talked about ‘problems’ or things of that nature in maybe 2 or 3 years so now I really have no support system.

A few years back I went to therapy just to have someone to talk to. However, it didn’t really work for me. The reason it didn’t work was entirely my fault because I lied to her and told her my life was totally fine when in reality it wasn’t. Because of my once again happy-go-lucky shell fooling her and my family, she told me I really didn’t need to be seeing her anymore and that was that.

Something I can do to make my support system stronger is to first… have one. I had a really really shitty week last week which resulted in my roommate and I have a nice group mental breakdown in our room. It ended in the both of us saying we were going to check out the psychological services available on campus and to see what we can do from there. My roommate I guess has become part of my support system because we’re sort of dealing with the same stuff (not really but we both get what each other is going through at the moment) but we don’t really go too in depth about everything.

So, something I need to do is not bottle up my feelings so much until I break down in a public bathroom on campus but to start at the stem of my issues and go from there which I’m hoping I’ll somehow learn to do. But we’ll see.

Anyways, I’ll keep you all updated on this situation as I delve deeper and start taking my life by the reigns

Until tomorrow

Alicia