I’ve been doing quite a bit of thinking recently. Not that I’m not always doing quite a bit of thinking, but more now than usual.

My study abroad time is coming to a close and as sad as I am to leave this incredible country, I couldn’t be more ready to get home.

Usually, I do not miss home. And to be perfectly honest I didn’t miss home until this past Sunday. On Sunday, as I was waiting and studying in a Taco Bell [yes of all places] in Madrid with some friends during our two-hour layover there, my purse was stolen. I always preach about safe travel – keep your belongings on you at all times, zip pockets, only carry the necessities, etc. Yet somehow I was the idiot I always talk about. As much as I’ve loved my time in Europe and all of the people I’ve met and things I’ve done, there’s nothing like having belongings stolen that makes me want to wrap myself in a blanket burrito and watch Netflix in my own bed with my dog.

Everyone and their brother is losing their mind over this, asking to help in any way they can, saying they wish there had been another outcome, etc. Obviously, I feel the same but that’s not the case and no matter how much we dwell on this, my purse isn’t going to be returned.

A few weeks ago, my new friends and I were talking and somehow the topic of holding grudges came up. One of the guys said that girls hold grudges far longer and far more severe than guys do. To which of course we all agreed. Over the past few weeks, I’ve noted this and realized how ugly holding a grudge makes you.

Yes, I wish my purse hadn’t been stolen and that I didn’t have to head back to America a week before I had planned and that I had been able to go to Ireland, Scotland, and England. I wish I could get all of my money, cards, inhaler, birth control, etc. that was in my purse. Alas, I cannot do any of that.

And honestly… that’s 100% ok. Everything in that purse is replaceable. The only thing really causing me any sort of grief is my inhaler as I have been relying on it here with all of the people who smoke in Spain. Besides that… I can get a new driver’s license, a new school ID, another pair of Ray Bans, new Chapstick, etc. None of that is important.

So, this Saturday I will be heading back home. Not all bad though. I get to see my dog a week earlier, enjoy a nice bottle of ice water, and reacclimate to the US before spending a long 10 or so days in Minnesota with my dad’s family.

Things we are doing in 2019: enjoying the little things. Things we are not doing in 2019: dwelling on the things we cannot control.

And in the wise words of every single person on my trip: No pasa nada, when in fact, everything is pasando mucho.